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# Therapevo Counseling

Therapy wherever you are via video call!

## Sitemaps

- [XML Sitemap](https://therapevo.com/sitemap.xml): Contains all public & indexable URLs for this website.

## Blog

- [Counseling for Husband and Wife: A Complete Guide to Strengthening Your Marriage](https://therapevo.com/counseling-for-husband-and-wife-a-complete-guide-to-strengthening-your-marriage/) - Online marriage counseling provides a proven, convenient way to help your marriage when you are experiencing stuck conflict, destructive patterns, and need help
- [Journaling for Therapy: A Complete Guide to Therapeutic Writing](https://therapevo.com/journaling-for-therapy-a-complete-guide-to-therapeutic-writing/) - Discover practical tips and techniques to start journaling for therapy. Enhance your mental well-being and express your thoughts effectively. Read more!
- [How Family Therapy Can Help Your Teen](https://therapevo.com/family-therapy-for-teens/) - Deciding the best therapy option for your teenager can be challenging. Should you seek individual therapy for them or involve the whole family in family therapy? While both have unique benefits, family therapy offers opportunities for healing and growth that extend beyond the individual and strengthen the entire family system.
- [Learning to Cope When Life Stages Trigger Past Trauma](https://therapevo.com/learning-to-cope-when-life-stages-trigger-past-trauma/) - Imagine a child named Johnny. His parents are going through a tumultuous divorce and fighting over Johnny and everything else. One night, Johnny’s dad wakes him up in the middle of the night, quickly throws Johnny’s clothes into a duffel bag, hurries him out to the car, and speeds off into the night. He tells
- [Could I Have PTSD? Here Are the Symptoms You Should Know](https://therapevo.com/could-i-have-ptsd-here-are-the-symptoms-you-should-know/) - Are you wondering if you could be experiencing PTSD? If you have had a traumatic experience and find yourself struggling to cope weeks, months, or years later, you may have post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). While right now you may be feeling like your life will never be the same, it may help to know that
- [The Coronavirus Pandemic's Lasting Effects on Teen Mental Health – How Parents Can Help](https://therapevo.com/the-coronavirus-pandemics-lasting-effects-on-teen-mental-health-how-parents-can-help/) - Parenting teens can be hard. The COVID-19 pandemic made it even harder when it created or worsened mental health challenges in many adolescents. Multiple studies from around the world have linked the COVID-19 pandemic to increased stress levels, depression, anxiety, insomnia, drug misuse, and other mental health challenges in adolescents. That impact did not subside
- [How Therapy Can Help with Chronic Pain Management](https://therapevo.com/how-therapy-can-help-with-chronic-pain-management/) - Did you know that over 50 million Americans and 8 million Canadians live with chronic pain daily? Are you one of them?
- [Top 10 Marriage Podcast Episodes of 2015](https://therapevo.com/top-10-marriage-podcast-episodes-of-2015/) - As we approach our 100th episode (to published in March, 2016) and the last few days of 2015 I though it would be great to look at the top 10 episodes of 2015.
- [Online Therapy at Therapevo: Effective, Convenient, and Personalized Support](https://therapevo.com/online-therapy-at-therapevo-effective-convenient-and-personalized-support/) - Online counseling at Therapevo is helpful for all types of concerns that you may bring to therapy, as your therapist is here to walk alongside you and help you with what you need.
- [The Top 5 Marriage Challenges Facing Our Audience](https://therapevo.com/top-5-marriage-challenges-facing-audience/) - When we asked what your spouse would want you to change or do differently, the most common theme was for each of us to step away from our to-do lists and go be romantic or have fun together.

## Pages

- [Home](https://therapevo.com/) - Seeking online therapy? Therapevo provides convenient and secure access to licensed professionals. Get the support you need, when you need it.
- [Christian Marriage Counseling](https://therapevo.com/christian-marriage-counseling/) - Christian marriage counseling from licensed therapists. Rebuild trust, improve communication, and restore intimacy—without years of therapy.
- [Fees](https://therapevo.com/counseling-fees/) - Therapevo offers simple, transparent counseling fees. Get affordable online therapy with no hidden costs. Start your healing journey—book today!
- [Podcast page](https://therapevo.com/podcast-episodes-listing/) - Enjoy over 275 episodes on relationship issues, trauma, and addiction. Formerly called The Marriage Podcast for Smart People by Caleb & Verlynda.
- [Privacy Policy](https://therapevo.com/privacy-policy/) - Read Therapevo's Privacy Policy to learn how we protect your personal information and ensure confidentiality in all counseling services.
- [Terms of Service](https://therapevo.com/terms-of-service/) - Review the official Terms of Service for Therapevo Counselling Inc. This page outlines your rights as a client, our policies on confidentiality, privacy, and service use.
- [Healing for the Betrayed](https://therapevo.com/healing-for-the-betrayed/) - Betrayal trauma can leave you questioning everything. Our therapists specialize in betrayal trauma therapy to help you process the pain and find a path forward.
- [Online CSAT Therapy for Sex Addiction](https://therapevo.com/sex-addiction-counseling/) - Looking for a CSAT therapist online? Work with a Certified Sex Addiction Therapist for compassionate, evidence-based help to recover and restore trust.
- [We're Hiring page](https://therapevo.com/were-hiring-page/) - Explore career opportunities at Therapevo. Join our team of compassionate online therapists dedicated to making a difference in mental health.
- [Overcome Porn Addiction – Regain Control & Restore Your Life](https://therapevo.com/porn-addiction/) - Learn about online therapy for porn addiction, its effects, and how to overcome it with expert help and support. Break free of addiction and shame: regain control of your life.
- [Family Therapy](https://therapevo.com/family-therapy/) - Therapevo Counseling offers online family therapy to resolve conflict, build connection, and grow stronger together. Start healing your family—book today!
- [Teen Therapy](https://therapevo.com/teen-therapy/) - Therapevo Counseling offers online therapy for teens. Support for anxiety, stress, identity & more. Get confidential help—book your teen’s session today!
- [Trauma Therapy for PTSD](https://therapevo.com/trauma-therapy/trauma-therapy-for-ptsd/) - Therapevo Counseling provides online PTSD recovery therapy for veterans. Get expert support to heal, regain peace, and rebuild your life. Start your recovery!
- [Health, Medical, and Accident Trauma Therapy](https://therapevo.com/trauma-therapy/health-medical-and-accident-trauma-therapy/) - Therapevo Counseling offers online therapy for medical trauma and workplace injuries. Begin healing with expert care—book your confidential session today!
- [Domestic abuse trauma](https://therapevo.com/domestic-abuse-trauma/) - Therapevo Counseling offers online therapy for domestic violence recovery. Heal safely with expert support. Reclaim your life—start your journey today!
- [Sexual Assault Trauma Therapy](https://therapevo.com/trauma-therapy/sexual-assaulttrauma-therapy/) - Therapevo Counseling provides online therapy for sexual assault trauma. Begin recovery with expert care and support. Take the first step—book today!
- [Adult Clergy Sexual Abuse Therapy](https://therapevo.com/trauma-therapy/adult-clergy-sexual-abuse-therapy/) - Therapevo Counseling offers online therapy for adult clergy sexual abuse survivors. Begin your healing journey with compassionate support.
- [Spiritual Abuse Therapy](https://therapevo.com/trauma-therapy/spiritual-abuse-therapy/) - Heal from spiritual abuse with Therapevo Counseling. Get expert online therapy to reclaim your voice and well-being. Start your healing journey today!
- [Contact us](https://therapevo.com/contact-us/) - Get in touch with Therapevo for compassionate counseling support. We're here to help - contact us now and take the first step toward healing today!
- [Childhood Sexual Abuse Trauma Therapy](https://therapevo.com/trauma-therapy/childhood-sexual-abuse-trauma-therapy/) - Therapevo Counseling offers online support for childhood sexual abuse trauma. Begin healing with expert, compassionate therapy. Book your session today!
- [Trauma therapy](https://therapevo.com/trauma-therapy/) - Heal with Therapevo Counseling. Online trauma therapy via Zoom to regain strength, clarity, and well-being. Book your session now and start healing today!
- [Narcissistic Abuse Recovery](https://therapevo.com/trauma-therapy/narcissistic-abuse-recovery/) - Heal from narcissistic abuse with online therapy. Get expert counseling to rebuild self-worth, set boundaries, and regain confidence. Start healing today!
- [Infidelity Recovery for Couples](https://therapevo.com/infidelity-recovery-for-couples/) - Heal together with infidelity recovery for couples. Marriage therapy offers support, trust rebuilding, communication, forgiveness and emotional connection.
- [Couples Counseling](https://therapevo.com/couples-counseling/) - Expert online couples counseling to rebuild trust, enhance communication, and strengthen your marriage. Schedule your free consultation today.
- [Behavioral Addiction Counseling](https://therapevo.com/behavioral-addiction-counseling/) - Online therapy and counseling for behavioral addiction—porn, sex, food, gaming, gambling & more. Heal, regain control, and start your well-being today.
- [Help for the Betrayer](https://therapevo.com/help-for-the-betrayer/) - Betrayal Therapy helps rebuild trust and grow. Get expert, non-judgmental support to heal, understand, and move forward. Book your session today!
- [Team page](https://therapevo.com/our-team-2/) - Meet the skilled, compassionate therapists at Therapevo. Get expert online counseling tailored to you. Connect with the right therapist—start today!
- [About](https://therapevo.com/about/) - Learn about Therapevo's mission to provide convenient online therapy. Discover our team of licensed therapists and our commitment to your healing journey.
- [Resources: blogs and podcast](https://therapevo.com/resources-blogs-and-podcast/) - Access therapy resources, blogs, and podcasts at Therapevo Counseling. Expert insights to support your mental health and wellness journey.
- [Blog](https://therapevo.com/blog/) - Explore expert insights on therapy, marriage, and relationship counseling at Therapevo Blog. Support and guidance for healthier connections.
- [Therapevo Zoom Benefits](https://therapevo.com/therapevo-zoom-benefits/) - Discover the benefits of Zoom therapy with Therapevo Counseling. Convenient, effective care from home. Start your virtual counseling journey today!
- [Other Specialized Therapies](https://therapevo.com/other-specialized-therapies/) - Get personalized online counseling for your unique needs. Expert support, flexible care, and tailored therapy. Start your healing journey today!
- [Coordinator page](https://therapevo.com/coordinator-page/)
- [Preparing for Your First Counseling Session](https://therapevo.com/your-first-counseling-session/)

## Therapists

- [Shemiya Ruud](https://therapevo.com/our-team/shemiya-ruud/) - Shemiya has a passion for guiding clients through relational challenges, including grief, addiction, and childhood trauma.
- [Ricky Aguilar](https://therapevo.com/our-team/ricky-aguilar/) - Fluent in English and Spanish, he offers a culturally sensitive approach, working with adolescents, young adults, and families to process emotions and foster healthier relationships.
- [Mari Lee Ayers](https://therapevo.com/our-team/mari-lee-ayers/) - Experienced therapist Mari Lee Ayers offers counselling for trauma, couples, grief, and addictions. Discover a safe space to heal. Availability this week.
- [Lilien Kovács-Hélisz](https://therapevo.com/our-team/lilien-kovacs-helisz/) - Lilien Kovács-Hélisz is a compassionate Registered Clinical Counsellor specializing in trauma therapy, couples counseling, and addiction recovery.
- [Korey Reimer](https://therapevo.com/our-team/korey-reimer/) - Korey specializes in helping individuals, couples, and adolescents navigate anxiety, betrayal trauma, pornography addiction, and spiritual issues
- [Jesse Schellenberg](https://therapevo.com/our-team/jesse-schellenberg/) - Jesse uses techniques such as Emotionally Focused Therapy, Gottman Couples Therapy, and EMDR to help clients navigate challenges like sexual intimacy, pornography addiction, and trauma.
- [Ron de Jager](https://therapevo.com/our-team/ron-de-jager/) - Therapist Ron de Jager helps you heal from trauma, anxiety, and addiction. His unique background helps performers and individuals process stress held in the body.
- [Melissa Bonnell](https://therapevo.com/our-team/melissa-bonnell/) - Therapist Melissa Bonnell helps couples repair trust after betrayal and navigate trauma. Get compassionate, expert online counseling with Therapevo. Learn more.
- [Jessica Myles](https://therapevo.com/our-team/jessica-myles/) - Jessica Myles helps neurodivergent individuals & couples heal through Emotion-Focused Therapy. Book a free consult with this Masters-level online therapist.
- [Jeremy Zacharias](https://therapevo.com/our-team/jeremy-zacharias/) - Jeremy’s client-centered approach fosters a compassionate, conversational space where individuals, couples, and families can explore new perspectives and unlock personal growth.
- [Jeremiah Palmer](https://therapevo.com/our-team/jeremiah-palmer/) - Therapist Jeremiah Palmer helps couples and individuals heal from trauma and addiction. Get expert online counseling to build healthier relationships.
- [Jennifer L. Cole](https://therapevo.com/our-team/jennifer-l-cole/) - Jennifer is a compassionate therapist specializing in trauma, addiction, relationship counseling, and spiritual formation.
- [Dianne Kuglin](https://therapevo.com/our-team/dianne-kuglin/) - Dianne specializes in addiction, trauma, and relationship challenges. She creates a supportive space for growth and transformation, guiding clients toward healthier relationships and well-being.
- [Cara Pederson](https://therapevo.com/our-team/cara-pederson/) - Cara Pederson is a dedicated therapist specializing in trauma recovery, relationship issues, and mental health support.
- [Sharon Snooks](https://therapevo.com/our-team/sharon-snooks/) - Sharon Snooks is an experienced therapist specializing in trauma, grief, loss, and mental health challenges. With over 30 years in social services, Sharon has a deep understanding of how trauma impacts individuals and families.
- [Raquenna Noel](https://therapevo.com/our-team/raquenna-noel/) - Meet Raquenna, a trauma-informed therapist specializing in betrayal recovery, trauma, and anxiety. Book a free consultation with Therapevo today.
- [Mike Takkinen](https://therapevo.com/our-team/mike-takkinen/) - Mike helps individuals and couples navigate challenges like addiction, anxiety, depression, and relationship conflict. He uses practical strategies aligned with clients' values, fostering trust and growth, while offering support through life's milestones and transitions.
- [Caleb Simonyi-Gindele](https://therapevo.com/our-team/caleb-simonyi-gindele/) - Caleb Simonyi-Gindele is the co-founder and Clinical Director at Therapevo, specializing in infidelity recovery, trauma, and addiction therapy.
- [Verlynda Simonyi-Gindele](https://therapevo.com/our-team/verlynda-simonyi-gindele/) - Verlynda Simonyi-Gindele is a compassionate therapist and co-founder of Therapevo Counseling. She specializes in adolescents, young adults, couples, and trauma recovery.
- [Christal Wilson](https://therapevo.com/our-team/christal-wilson/) - Certified Sex Addiction Therapist (CSAT) & couples counsellor Christal Wilson offers online therapy for betrayal trauma, infidelity & PTSD. Book a free consultation.

## Podcasts

- [When Betrayal Interrupts Your Own Intimacy: Intrusive Images During Sex](https://therapevo.com/podcasts/intrusive-images-during-intimacy-after-betrayal/) - Trauma images intruding during sex after betrayal can trigger freeze, lost arousal, or dissociation. Learn somatic pacing skills to stay present in your body.
- [Why Counting Days Sets You Up to Binge: A Relapse Is Not a Reset](https://therapevo.com/podcasts/why-counting-days-sets-you-up-to-binge/) - A relapse does not reset your progress. Learn why the day-counting mindset triggers shame binges and how treating a slip as data builds resilient recovery.
- [When Your Partner Won't Do the Recovery Work: Deciding Whether to Stay After Infidelity](https://therapevo.com/podcasts/partner-wont-do-the-work-deciding-whether-to-stay/) - Your partner won't do the recovery work after betrayal. A discernment guide: real vs. fake recovery, the kids question, and building the power to choose.
- [The White Bear Effect: Why Trying Not to Think About Porn Makes the Urge Stronger](https://therapevo.com/podcasts/how-to-stop-thinking-about-porn/) - The harder you try not to think about porn, the stronger the urge gets. Learn why suppression backfires and how urge surfing helps you break the cycle.
- [Do We Have to Decide Right Now? The Case for Waiting After an Affair](https://therapevo.com/podcasts/deciding-whether-to-stay-after-infidelity/) - Deciding whether to stay after infidelity? In the raw early weeks, the wisest move is often to not decide yet. Here's why a structured pause protects you.
- [Why Does Every Fight Leave Us More Distant? The Repair Most Couples Skip](https://therapevo.com/podcasts/repair-after-a-fight-in-marriage/) - Worried you fight too much? Learn how to repair after a fight in marriage: calm the flooding, name the real impact, and rebuild closeness that lasts.
- [This Is What Porn Actually Does to Your Brain (The Neuroscience Explained)](https://therapevo.com/podcasts/this-is-what-porn-actually-does-to-your-brain-the-neuroscience-explained/) - A clinical, research-based explainer on porn's effects on the brain: how the reward system changes, why it happens, and what recovery involves.
- [Your Trauma Map: Why the Kind of Porn You Use Says Something About the Wound](https://therapevo.com/podcasts/why-am-i-attracted-to-certain-porn/) - Wondering why you're attracted to certain porn? The kind you return to maps onto a deeper wound. A sex addiction therapist on reading it, and healing it.
- [Hysterical Bonding: Why You Want Him Closer After Betrayal](https://therapevo.com/podcasts/hysterical-bonding-after-betrayal/) - Hysterical bonding after betrayal is the confusing pull toward the partner who hurt you. Here is why it happens, why it is not weakness, and what comes next.
- [He's Doing the Work. So Why Do I Still Feel Dead Inside? The Year-Two Wall in Betrayal Trauma Recovery](https://therapevo.com/podcasts/stuck-betrayal-trauma-recovery-year-two-wall/) - He's sober, transparent, in therapy. You still feel dead inside. The year-two wall in betrayal trauma recovery is real, predictable, and has a way through.
- ["Am I Going Crazy?" The Reality Rupture That Happens When Betrayal Comes Out](https://therapevo.com/podcasts/am-i-going-crazy-after-discovering-betrayal/) - If your mind feels like it cracked open after discovering your partner's betrayal, you are not losing it. You are meeting reality without the cover story.
- [Restitution After Betrayal: The Repair Work Apologies Can't Do](https://therapevo.com/podcasts/restitution-after-betrayal/) - Restitution after betrayal is the work apologies can't do. Three clinical components that actually rebuild trust, explained for the partner doing the work.
- [Porn Induced Erectile Dysfunction: What's Actually Happening and How Recovery Works](https://therapevo.com/podcasts/porn-induced-erectile-dysfunction-recovery/) - Three months porn-free and still can't function with your wife? Learn what's happening with PIED, why the flatline is normal, and how recovery actually works.
- [When Your Spouse Uses Therapy Words to Gaslight You](https://therapevo.com/podcasts/husband-using-therapy-language-to-gaslight-me/) - Husband using therapy language to gaslight you? Recovery clinicians call this weaponized therapy speak. Five patterns and what you can do.
- [Why You Hate Your Porn Use But Still Can't Stop](https://therapevo.com/podcasts/why-you-hate-your-porn-use-but-still-cant-stop/) - If you hate your porn use but can't stop, you are not broken. Conscience doesn't solve compulsion. Here's why self-disgust fuels the loop and what works.
- [Post Infidelity Stress Disorder: Symptoms, Causes, and Recovery](https://therapevo.com/podcasts/post-infidelity-stress-disorder/) - Post infidelity stress disorder mirrors PTSD after a partner's betrayal. Learn the symptoms, why it happens, and the recovery path through trauma-informed care.
- [Sarcasm in Marriage: Why It Hurts More Than You Think (and How to Stop)](https://therapevo.com/podcasts/got-a-sarcasm-problem-in-your-marriage/) - Sarcasm in marriage is contempt with a smile. Research links it to divorce. Here's what's underneath, why it hurts, and how to stop.
- [What Is the Point of Sex in Marriage? A Clinical Perspective](https://therapevo.com/podcasts/oyf012-whats-point-sex-anyways/) - Sex in marriage is not just for procreation or pleasure. A clinical look at the five purposes sex actually serves in a long-term relationship.
- [Coping With Age Gap in Marriage: What Actually Helps](https://therapevo.com/podcasts/age-difference-in-marriage/) - An age gap rarely is the problem in marriage. A therapist explains what actually drives the friction in mixed-age couples and what helps.
- [Why Betrayers Keep Re-Hurting Their Partners (Even When They're Trying)](https://therapevo.com/podcasts/why-betrayers-keep-re-hurting-their-partners/) - If you're trying to repair after betrayal but keep re-hurting your partner, the issue isn't effort. It's shame hijacking your nervous system. Here's why.
- [What to Do When Your Partner Won't Come to Couples Therapy Yet](https://therapevo.com/podcasts/spouse-wont-go-to-couples-therapy/) - If your spouse won't go to couples therapy, you still have options. Real, clinically legitimate individual work toward the marriage when one of you is ready.
- [Why Every New Disclosure Feels Like a New D-Day](https://therapevo.com/podcasts/why-trickle-truth-feels-like-new-betrayal/) - Each new disclosure resets the trauma clock because your nervous system reads it as a current threat. Why ongoing partial honesty keeps the wound open.
- [Why Your Body Remembers the Betrayal (And 3 Polyvagal Resets That Actually Help)](https://therapevo.com/podcasts/why-your-body-remembers-the-betrayal-polyvagal-resets/) - Still reacting two years post-discovery? Your body is keeping the score. Learn 3 polyvagal techniques for betrayal trauma that calm your nervous system.
- [Why Accountability Software Isn't Enough: The Clinical Reason Covenant Eyes Fails for Long-Term Recovery](https://therapevo.com/podcasts/is-covenant-eyes-enough-for-porn-addiction/) - Is Covenant Eyes enough for porn addiction recovery? Clinically, accountability software is a helpful fence, but lasting recovery needs more. Here's why.
- [Loyalty in Marriage: Why It's the #2 Predictor of a Lasting Relationship](https://therapevo.com/podcasts/are-you-a-loyal-spouse/) - Loyalty in marriage means more than not cheating. See the research on why it's the #2 predictor of a lasting marriage, and how to build it.
- [Complementarian vs. Egalitarian Marriage: A Therapist's Take](https://therapevo.com/podcasts/power-struggles-in-marriage-your-styles-may-be-the-problem/) - Three models of Christian marriage compared, the research on power struggles, and why we have landed on egalitarianism after years of clinical work.
- [How to Deal With In-Laws: 3 Principles for a Stronger Marriage](https://therapevo.com/podcasts/3-essential-principles-successful-inlaw-relationships/) - Three principles for handling in-laws without straining your marriage: autonomy, kin network, and grace. A therapist's guide to setting boundaries that hold.
- [Betrayal Trauma in Marriage: How to Help Your Spouse Heal (When You Caused It)](https://therapevo.com/podcasts/how-to-work-with-your-spouses-betrayal-trauma/) - Your spouse cannot just get over your betrayal. Here is how to actually help them heal, and rebuild trust, after you are the one who broke it.
- [What Is a Trauma Bond? The Invisible Chains That Keep You Stuck](https://therapevo.com/podcasts/trauma-bond-understanding-the-invisible-chains-that-keep-you-stuck/) - A trauma bond is a powerful attachment formed through cycles of abuse and affection. Learn the 7 stages, signs, neuroscience, and how to break free safely.
- [How Pornography Affects Wives: What Husbands Need to Understand](https://therapevo.com/podcasts/impact-of-your-porn-use-on-your-wife/) - When your wife finds out about your porn use, the pain runs deeper than anger. Here's what husbands need to understand about her trauma response.
- [Is Watching Porn Cheating? Breaking the Gaslighting and Reclaiming Truth](https://therapevo.com/podcasts/is-watching-porn-cheating/) - Is watching porn cheating? We break down what the research actually shows about how pornography use affects partners, trust, and what fidelity really requires.
- [How to Be a Safe Man: 7 Clinical Markers That Matter More Than Words](https://therapevo.com/podcasts/how-to-be-a-safe-man/) - Safety lives in her nervous system, not in the phrases you practice. 7 clinical markers of a genuinely safe man, plus the counterfeit versions.
- [Porn Addiction in Women: Breaking the Silence and the Cycle of Shame](https://therapevo.com/podcasts/porn-addiction-in-women-breaking-the-silence-and-the-cycle-of-shame/) - Porn addiction in women is real, rising, and rarely talked about. Here's the clinical truth about why women use it, the shame they carry, and how to heal.
- [The Relapse Protocol: How to Survive a Porn Addiction Setback Without Starting Over](https://therapevo.com/podcasts/the-relapse-protocol-how-to-survive-a-porn-addiction-setback-without-starting-over/) - A porn addiction relapse does not mean starting over. Learn the 72-hour protocol for couples to stabilize, disclose, and move forward in recovery.
- [Why Physical Touch Matters in Marriage (and How to Rebuild It)](https://therapevo.com/podcasts/why-you-need-to-touch-your-spouse-more/) - Physical touch is more than affection. It calms the nervous system and rebuilds connection. A clinical look at why touch matters and how to start.
- [Husband Doesn't Help With the Kids? Why It Happens (and What Actually Helps)](https://therapevo.com/podcasts/husband-doesnt-help-with-the-kids-it-could-be-your-fault/) - Husband doesn't help with the kids? It often isn't laziness. Learn the demand-withdraw and maternal gatekeeping patterns at play and how to shift them.
- [Why You Keep Misinterpreting Your Spouse (and How to Stop)](https://therapevo.com/podcasts/keep-misinterpreting-spouse/) - When your husband misinterprets everything you say, attribution bias and nervous system patterns are at work. Here's why it happens and how to fix it.
- [The 5 Pillars of Attachment](https://therapevo.com/podcasts/the-5-pillars-of-attachment/) - The 5 pillars of attachment are felt safety, attunement, soothing, expressed delight, and support for growth. How they form in childhood and play out in marriage.
- [Benefits of Marriage: 5 Research-Backed Benefits of a Happy Marriage](https://therapevo.com/podcasts/the-top-5-benefits-of-creating-a-happy-marriage/) - What are the real benefits of marriage? Research-backed look at how a happy marriage drives health, longevity, life satisfaction, and lasting happiness.
- [Codependency in Marriage: Signs, Causes, and How to Heal](https://therapevo.com/podcasts/codependency-in-marriage-what-it-is-and-what-to-do-about-it/) - Codependency in marriage shows up as caretaking that quietly breeds resentment. Learn the signs, what drives it, and how couples build healthy interdependence.
- [How to Court Your Wife: 10 Everyday Ways to Keep Your Marriage Alive](https://therapevo.com/podcasts/10-simple-but-powerful-ways-to-court-your-spouse-in-everyday-moments/) - Courting your wife isn't about expensive dates. Here are 10 research-backed maintenance behaviors that keep marriages alive, practiced daily, not annually.
- [The Purpose of Marriage: How Couples Build Shared Meaning Together](https://therapevo.com/podcasts/creating-purpose-in-your-marriage/) - What is the purpose of marriage? It is about shared meaning, not just romance. Discover how couples build a marriage with lasting purpose and direction.
- [Sexless Marriage: Why You're Not Getting Enough Sex and What To Do About It](https://therapevo.com/podcasts/youre-not-getting-enough-sex/) - A sexless marriage rarely starts in the bedroom. Here's the research on what actually drives desire, plus what to do this week and long-term.
- [Wife Foreplay: How Much Does She Really Need?](https://therapevo.com/podcasts/how-much-foreplay-does-your-wife-need/) - Many studies suggest 15 to 25 minutes of foreplay, but minutes aren't the real answer. Here's what your wife actually needs and why it's not what you think.
- [Negative Interaction Cycle Marriage: How to Break Free from the Dance of Disconnection](https://therapevo.com/podcasts/negative-interaction-cycle-marriage-how-to-break-free-from-the-dance-of-disconnection/) - Trapped in the same painful argument? Discover how the EFT "Protest Polka" drives disconnection and learn expert-backed steps to break the cycle for good.
- [Mental Load in Marriage Resentment: Why Your Anger is Valid and How to Rebuild Partnership](https://therapevo.com/podcasts/mental-load-in-marriage-resentment-why-your-anger-is-valid-and-how-to-rebuild-partnership/) - Feeling like a "married single parent"? Your anger is valid. Discover how to shift from "helper" tasks to true ownership and rebuild an equitable partnership.
- [Communication Exercises for Couples: 9 Science-Based Techniques to Transform Your Relationship](https://therapevo.com/podcasts/communication-exercises-for-couples-9-science-based-techniques-to-transform-your-relationship/) - Transform your relationship with 9 science-backed communication exercises. Learn to de-escalate conflict, build emotional safety, and deepen connection today.
- [How to Stop Being Roommates and Rebuild Emotional Intimacy in Marriage](https://therapevo.com/podcasts/how-to-stop-being-roommates-and-rebuild-emotional-intimacy-in-marriage/) - Stop being "roommates" and start being partners again. Learn practical daily habits to rebuild emotional intimacy and reconnect with your spouse today.
- [The Porn Detective Trap: When Searching for "The Truth" Becomes a Prison](https://therapevo.com/podcasts/the-porn-detective-trap-when-searching-for-the-truth-becomes-a-prison/) - Trapped in a loop of checking his phone? Learn why the detective trap is a sign of betrayal trauma and how to move from hypervigilance to protecting your peace.
- [The Pornography Gaslight: Why Your Gut Is Right (Even When He Says You're Wrong)](https://therapevo.com/podcasts/the-pornography-gaslight-why-your-gut-is-right-even-when-he-says-youre-wrong/) - Do you feel like you're losing your mind? Gaslighting in porn addiction is real. Learn to trust your gut again and find clarity in the fog of betrayal trauma.
- [He's a Good Man, But a Porn Addict: How to Recover When You Choose to Stay](https://therapevo.com/podcasts/hes-a-good-man-but-a-porn-addict-how-to-recover-when-you-choose-to-stay/) - Stayed after betrayal? Learn how to hold two truths, use the CRAFT model for active recovery, and heal your own trauma—whether or not you decide to stay.
- [The Boundary Blueprint: How Partner Self-Protection Helps Create the Conditions for Pornography Recovery](https://therapevo.com/podcasts/the-boundary-blueprint-how-partner-self-protection-helps-create-the-conditions-for-pornography-recovery/) - Recovering from betrayal trauma? Learn how to set loving boundaries that protect your peace and create conditions for genuine pornography addiction recovery.
- [Infidelity Disclosure: What to Include and How to Prepare](https://therapevo.com/podcasts/key-things-to-include-when-disclosing-infidelity/) - Preparing to disclose an affair? Here's exactly what to include in an infidelity disclosure, what to leave out, and how to set up the conversation well.
- [How Much Detail to Share When Disclosing Infidelity: 4 Things to Avoid](https://therapevo.com/podcasts/4-key-things-to-avoid-when-disclosing-infidelity/) - Wondering how much detail to share after an affair? Our guide covers what to avoid when disclosing infidelity and how to protect your spouse from extra trauma.
- [How to Identify Your Emotions](https://therapevo.com/podcasts/how-to-identify-your-emotions/) - Most people say "I feel" when they mean "I think." Here's how to actually identify your emotions and build the emotional literacy that changes your relationships.
- [Marriage Conflict: What Is Your Fighting Style?](https://therapevo.com/podcasts/marriage-conflict-what-is-your-fighting-style/) - “How couples argue and disagree about issues appears to be more consequential to the success of marriage than what they argue about or how often they experience conflicts.” To reword the above quote taken from an article by Hanzal and Segrin in the Journal of Family Communication, you could simply say “how we fight has far
- [Understanding and Navigating a Controlling Spouse](https://therapevo.com/podcasts/understanding-and-navigating-a-controlling-spouse/) - Feeling frustrated by a controlling spouse? Learn the surprising reason for their actions and get tools to restore balance and connection in your relationship.
- [Is My Spouse a Sex Addict? Understanding This Massive Challenge and Reclaiming Your Marriage](https://therapevo.com/podcasts/is-my-spouse-a-sex-addict-understanding-this-massive-challenge-and-reclaiming-your-marriage/) - Feeling hurt and confused? Learn the signs of sex addiction from a CSAT. Understand it's not your fault and discover a real path to healing for both of you.
- [What Do I Tell My Wife About My Affair? A Guide to Disclosure and Healing](https://therapevo.com/podcasts/what-do-i-tell-my-wife-about-my-affair-a-guide-to-disclosure-and-healing/) - Navigate the difficult conversation about your affair with honesty and care. Discover practical steps for healing and rebuilding trust. Read more.
- [Neuroscience of Love in Marriage: What Brain Science Reveals About Staying in Love](https://therapevo.com/podcasts/the-neuroscience-of-dating-your-spouse/) - Your brain isn't designed to make love disappear. Research shows romantic love can last in marriage. Here's what the science means for you and your spouse.
- [Is Therapeutic Separation a Good Idea for Your Marriage?](https://therapevo.com/podcasts/is-therapeutic-separation-a-good-idea/) - Therapeutic separation works for 1 in 4 couples long-term. Learn what the research says about success rates, risks, and how to make it work.
- [PDA in Marriage: What Is OK and How to Find Your Balance](https://therapevo.com/podcasts/how-much-pda-is-ok/) - Research shows PDA strengthens marriages. But how much is too much? We break down what works for couples and how to find your own balance.
- [How to Forgive Betrayal in Marriage: A Step-by-Step Guide](https://therapevo.com/podcasts/how-to-forgive-your-spouse-after-betrayal/) - Forgiveness after betrayal is possible, but it's a process, not a decision. Here's how to move from anger and grief toward healing, step by step.
- [Infidelity vs. Sex Addiction: How to Tell the Difference](https://therapevo.com/podcasts/infidelity-sex-addiction-healing/) - Not sure if what happened is infidelity or sex addiction? A CSAT therapist explains the key differences, warning signs, and what each means for healing.
- [Trauma Bonding in Betrayal Trauma: Why You Can’t Leave Despite the Pain](https://therapevo.com/podcasts/trauma-bonding-in-betrayal-trauma-why-you-cant-leave-despite-the-pain/) - Stuck in a betrayal bond? Learn why your nervous system stays attached after infidelity and what stabilization actually looks like. Find solid ground.
- [Betrayal Trauma and the Brain: Symptoms, Science, and Recovery](https://therapevo.com/podcasts/how-betrayal-trauma-impacts-the-brain-and-body-a-complete-guide-to-neurobiological-changes/) - Betrayal trauma changes your brain in measurable ways. Learn the neuroscience, recognize the symptoms, and find out what real recovery looks like.
- [Can Your Brain Recover from Porn Addiction? The Science of Relapse, Shame, and Healing](https://therapevo.com/podcasts/porn-addiction-brain-shame-relapse/) - Your brain can recover from porn addiction. A licensed clinician explains what porn does to the brain, why shame drives relapse, and what actually helps.
- [Introduction to the OnlyYouForever Podcast and Your Hosts, Caleb & Verlynda Simonyi-Gindele](https://therapevo.com/podcasts/oyf001-introduction-onlyyouforever-podcast-hosts-caleb-verlynda-simonyi-gindele/) - The Origins of OnlyYouForever: Only You Forever is actually a love song… written by Caleb for Verlynda. It was written on a highway in Montana while we drove into the sunset (insert "happy memories" sigh here) on the way to a family vacation in Yellowstone. The Goal of OnlyYouForever Our taglines state that our purpose
- [If You Really Loved Me, You Would...](https://therapevo.com/podcasts/if-you-really-loved-me-you-would-not-use-guilt-to-motivate/) - Guilt is an effective motivator. It’s also a great way to make you an unbearable spouse. If you’ve ever had someone lay the, “If you really loved me you would…” guilt trip on you then you know exactly how that makes you feel. Loathing. Disgust. Nothing like, “I love you! I’d love to do that
- [Anxious Attachment in Marriage: What It Looks Like and How to Break the Cycle](https://therapevo.com/podcasts/anxious-attachment-in-marriage/) - Anxious attachment in marriage creates cycles of pursuit, conflict, and disconnection. Learn what it looks like and how couples can build real security.
- [How Admiration Creates a Stable, Happy Marriage](https://therapevo.com/podcasts/admiration-is-one-key-to-a-stable-happy-marriage/) - Today we are going to unpack the virtue of admiration. By the way, did you know that admiration has a dark side? I had no idea until we tackled this subject too, but it does make a lot of sense! If you’ve ever read the Song of Solomon in the Bible I think you have
- [Can You Fix Your Marriage Without Dredging Up The Past?](https://therapevo.com/podcasts/can-you-fix-marriage-without-dredging-up-the-past/) - This is a great question! Wouldn’t it be nice if you could just leave all the past behind, turn over a new leaf, and start afresh? Most couples have problems and difficulties that they’ve been through and are trying to put behind them. Some of you might even have serious issues in your past that
- [100 Episodes of The Marriage Podcast for Smart People!](https://therapevo.com/podcasts/100-episodes-marriage-podcast-smart-people/) - Episode #100! Wahoo!!! Normally we focus on real-world, research-based strategies to help your marriage. Today, we’re mostly just going to stop and reflect on our podcast and www.onlyyouforever.com and talk a little about our future plans. But, this being the marriage podcast for smart people, hosted by a research-guru…we couldn’t have no research! So here’s
- [Differences in Sexual Desire: A Checklist for Your Marriage](https://therapevo.com/podcasts/differences-sexual-desire-checklist-for-your-marriage/) - Sometimes after a long day, you just want to climb in bed and go to sleep… but your spouse has other ideas! Differences in sexual desire are very normal. Usually, there is one high desire and one low desire spouse in a marriage – sometimes desires are equal, but not very often. Normally, the husband
- [When Your Spouse Has Let Themselves Go (and You're Not Attracted)](https://therapevo.com/podcasts/when-your-spouse-has-let-him-herself-go-and-you-are-not-attracted/) - When your spouse has let themselves go, lost attraction is usually a sign of something deeper. Here's what the research says and how to move forward together.
- [Husband Takes Me for Granted: Why It Happens and What to Do](https://therapevo.com/podcasts/is-your-spouse-taking-you-for-granted/) - Feeling like your husband takes you for granted? We explore the relational drift, people-pleasing, and codependency patterns behind it, and what helps.
- [Disorganized Attachment in Marriage: Signs and How to Help](https://therapevo.com/podcasts/disorganized-attachment-in-marriage/) - If your spouse runs hot and cold, disorganized attachment may be why. Learn what fearful avoidant patterns look like in marriage and how healing is possible.
- [First Orgasm in Marriage: What Every Wife Needs to Know](https://therapevo.com/podcasts/how-to-have-your-first-orgasm/) - Most wives have questions about orgasm they have never had answered honestly. Here is what the research shows and what actually helps clinically.
- [Ejaculatory Control: A Research-Based Guide for Husbands](https://therapevo.com/podcasts/a-husbands-guide-to-ejaculatory-control/) - What does research say about ejaculatory control? The science points to something most men overlook. A clinical guide for husbands who want better sex.
- [Rebuilding Intimacy After Porn Addiction: A Complete Guide for Married Couples](https://therapevo.com/podcasts/rebuilding-intimacy-after-porn-addiction-a-complete-guide-for-married-couples/) - Recover from betrayal and rebuild trust. Learn practical steps to restore physical intimacy and emotional safety in your marriage after porn addiction recovery.
- [Pastor Adultery: Why It's Usually Clergy Sexual Misconduct](https://therapevo.com/podcasts/why-church-leaders-are-vulnerable-to-infidelity-pornography/) - Pastor adultery is more common than most know -- and more complex. Learn why it's called clergy sexual misconduct and what the research says about risk factors.
- [Attachment Style and Porn Addiction: How They're Connected](https://therapevo.com/podcasts/exploring-the-links-between-attachment-style-and-porn-or-sex-addiction/) - Over 80% of sex addicts have insecure attachment. Learn how attachment style connects to porn addiction and what recovery looks like.
- [Porn Addiction Recovery: How Long Does It Really Take?](https://therapevo.com/podcasts/how-long-does-it-take-to-recover-from-pornography-addiction/) - Learn the realistic stages of porn addiction recovery, from initial sobriety to long-term healing. Our counselors explain what to expect and how therapy helps.
- [Symptoms of Pornography Withdrawal: A Complete Guide to What to Expect](https://therapevo.com/podcasts/symptoms-of-pornography-withdrawal-a-complete-guide-to-what-to-expect/) - Porn withdrawal symptoms are real and temporary. Learn what to expect — anxiety, cravings, flatline, and more — and how to navigate recovery with confidence.
- [Telling Your Wife About Your Porn Addiction: A Therapist's Guide](https://therapevo.com/podcasts/how-and-when-to-tell-your-wife-about-your-porn-addiction/) - Should you tell your wife about your porn addiction? A CSAT therapist explains when, how, and what to say, to start real recovery, not just relief.
- [Preparing a Formal Disclosure for Pornography Addiction](https://therapevo.com/podcasts/preparing-a-formal-disclosure-for-pornography-addiction/) - Stop trickle-truth and start healing. Learn how a structured formal disclosure for pornography addiction rebuilds trust and provides a foundation for recovery.
- [Forgiveness vs Healing Betrayal Trauma: Why You Can’t Just ‘Get Over It’](https://therapevo.com/podcasts/forgiveness-vs-healing-betrayal-trauma-why-you-cant-just-get-over-it/) - Stuck in triggers? Discover why your brain can't "just forgive" betrayal. Learn the neurobiology of healing and how to reclaim your peace at your own pace.
- [How Porn Addicts Compartmentalize: The Psychology Behind the Secret Life](https://therapevo.com/podcasts/how-porn-addicts-compartmentalize-the-psychology-behind-the-secret-life/) - How can they love you while living a secret life? Understand the psychology of mental "boxes" in porn addiction and discover the path to authentic recovery.
- [Things To Think About Before You Start Making Babies](https://therapevo.com/podcasts/things-to-think-about-before-you-start-making-babies/) - So the transition from just the two of you into a family is a big one! I know when we were wondering about starting a family it was really challenging to try to think through all the things one should be aware of. Well, we want to take away some of the mystery today and
- [What Causes Infidelity?](https://therapevo.com/podcasts/what-causes-infidelity/) - Today we are going to take a compassionate and sensitive look at the “why” of infidelity. We believe that infidelity is a choice, and, from our own moral perspective, it is wrong, but at the same time when it comes to making sense of infidelity as part of rebuilding a marriage, further examination reveals a
- [What Is Your Fighting Style?](https://therapevo.com/podcasts/what-is-your-fighting-style/) - “How couples argue and disagree about issues appears to be more consequential to the success of marriage than what they argue about or how often they experience conflicts.” To reword the above quote taken from an article by Hanzal and Segrin in the Journal of Family Communication, you could simply say “how we fight has
- [Scanning, Objectification and Ogling in Porn Addiction Recovery: Breaking the Real-World Betrayal Pattern](https://therapevo.com/podcasts/scanning-objectification-and-ogling-in-porn-addiction-recovery-breaking-the-real-world-betrayal-pattern/) - Stop scanning and objectifying. Learn practical tools like the "bouncing eyes" technique to break addiction patterns, rebuild trust, and reclaim real intimacy.
- [Is It High Sex Drive or Something Else? Understanding Porn Addiction as Affect Regulation](https://therapevo.com/podcasts/is-it-high-sex-drive-or-something-else-understanding-porn-addiction-as-affect-regulation/) - Stop trying to use willpower. Learn why porn addiction is often an emotional regulation tool and how addressing root causes leads to lasting recovery. Read more.
- [When the Past Shows Up: Navigating Betrayal Trauma Triggers in Relationships After Infidelity](https://therapevo.com/podcasts/when-the-past-shows-up-navigating-betrayal-trauma-triggers-in-relationships-after-infidelity/) - Stop the spiral of infidelity triggers. Learn why your brain reacts to betrayal trauma and get proven scripts to de-escalate conflict and rebuild trust.
- [Sobriety and White Knuckling vs Recovery in Porn Addiction: Why 'Counting Days' Isn't Enough](https://therapevo.com/podcasts/sobriety-and-white-knuckling-vs-recovery-in-porn-addiction-why-counting-days-isnt-enough/) - Stop white-knuckling your porn addiction recovery. Learn the difference between counting days and true healing to find lasting freedom and relationship trust.
- [How to Break a Trauma Bond: A Nervous System-Based Approach to Freedom](https://therapevo.com/podcasts/how-to-break-a-trauma-bond-a-nervous-system-based-approach-to-freedom/) - Stop fighting your willpower. Learn how to break a trauma bond by regulating your nervous system. Master grounding tools and start your healing journey today.
- [Understanding Trauma Bonding: Domestic Violence and Why Families Stay Trapped](https://therapevo.com/podcasts/understanding-trauma-bonding-domestic-violence-and-why-families-stay-trapped/) - Trauma bonding makes leaving feel impossible. Learn the neurobiology of why we stay, how it impacts children, and the first steps to break generational cycles.
- [12 Hidden Signs of Childhood Trauma ACEs in Adult Life](https://therapevo.com/podcasts/12-hidden-signs-of-childhood-trauma-aces-in-adult-life/) - Do you feel broken but don't know why? Discover the 12 subtle signs of childhood trauma in adults, from imposter syndrome to chronic emptiness. Healing starts here.
- [Understanding and Calming Hypervigilance: Grounding Techniques for Feeling Safe](https://therapevo.com/podcasts/understanding-and-calming-hypervigilance-grounding-techniques-for-feeling-safe/) - Constantly on edge? Discover expert-backed grounding techniques to calm hypervigilance, regulate your nervous system, and help you feel safe again.
- [Gaslighting Explained: The Ultimate Guide to What It Is, Why It Happens, and How to Stop It](https://therapevo.com/podcasts/gaslighting-explained-the-ultimate-guide-to-what-it-is-why-it-happens-and-how-to-stop-it/) - Is it gaslighting? Learn the signs of emotional abuse, manipulation tactics like DARVO, and practical steps to reclaim your reality and trust your gut.
- [Loving a Sexual Abuse Survivor: A Partner's Practical Guide](https://therapevo.com/podcasts/loving-a-sexual-abuse-survivor-a-partners-practical-guide/) - Feeling lost supporting your spouse, a CSA survivor? Get real, compassionate advice from survivor Mary DeMuth on navigating intimacy, triggers & healing.
- [Is Past Trauma Affecting Your Singing Voice?](https://therapevo.com/podcasts/is-past-trauma-affecting-your-singing-voice/) - Struggling with performance anxiety or a vocal block? Learn the unspoken link between trauma and the singing voice in this expert interview with Ron de Jager.
- [How Do I Know When My Marriage Is Beyond Repair?](https://therapevo.com/podcasts/how-do-i-know-when-my-marriage-is-beyond-repair/) - Feeling hopeless about your marriage? Discover the signs it can be saved and get a therapist's roadmap to healing and reconnection. Find hope today.
- [When Your Spouse Constantly Criticizes: Holding Onto Self Worth](https://therapevo.com/podcasts/holding-onto-self-worth-when-your-spouse-is-overly-critical/) - Feeling worn down by constant criticism from your spouse? Learn how to protect your self-worth and build a more positive and supportive relationship.
- [The Truth About Male Desire: Debunking 4 Common Myths](https://therapevo.com/podcasts/male-desire-myths/) - Uncover the surprising truth about male desire. We debunk 4 common myths, revealing how emotional connection and shared history truly fuel men's intimacy.
- [Uncover Truth: Female Desire Beyond Myths](https://therapevo.com/podcasts/female-sexuality-research-truths/) - Beyond myths! Latest research reveals the truth about female sexuality, libido, and desire. Empower your relationships with science-backed insights.
- [End The Cycle: Healing Childhood Trauma](https://therapevo.com/podcasts/childhood-trauma-adult-life-healing/) - What if the struggles you face today are actually signs of childhood trauma you never knew you had? When we think of trauma, we often picture extreme events. But it's possible that the persistent big emotions, the relentless perfectionism, or the constant people-pleasing you've experienced for years are actually signs of something deeper rooted in
- [Why Do I Keep Attracting Toxic People? Flipping the Script on Relationship Patterns](https://therapevo.com/podcasts/why-attract-toxic-people-healing/) - Do you find yourself repeatedly involved with people who leave you feeling drained, confused, or questioning yourself? Have you ever wondered, "Why do I keep attracting toxic people?" If so, you're not alone. This question often places the blame squarely on your shoulders, leading to significant self-blame and shame, especially if you've been harmed repeatedly.
- [Navigating the Storm: Initial Steps After Discovering Partner Betrayal](https://therapevo.com/podcasts/betrayal-trauma-7-steps/) - After betrayal or infidelity, protect your mental health. Learn 7 urgent trauma steps to cope with shock, find support, & start healing now.
- [The Art of Healthy Boundaries](https://therapevo.com/podcasts/how-to-set-boundaries-without-guilt/) - In the intricate dance of life and relationships, the concept of boundaries often arises as a critical tool for maintaining balance and well-being. However, despite their importance, many people unknowingly approach boundary setting in ways that are counterproductive, manipulative, or even harmful to themselves and their relationships. As trained and licensed counselors, we frequently encounter
- [5 Reasons Why You Need to Tell Your Wife You Appreciate Her](https://therapevo.com/podcasts/oyf004-5-reasons-need-tell-wife-appreciate/) - Have you ever caught your spouse doing something right? Haha, that’s right: so often we’re quick to get at each other when things don’t go well. It’s pretty easy to get that criticism monkey on your back but really hard to get it off. Today we’re going to work on the skill of expressing appreciation
- [Why You Can't Trust Your Spouse](https://therapevo.com/podcasts/cant-trust-spouse/) - Do you ever wonder why you can’t trust your spouse? Especially when you think you should be able to? Before we start, we want to make it clear who this episode is for because it may not be immediately apparent from the title. We’re speaking to men and women who are struggling to trust their
- [How Does Wealth Affect Marriage?](https://therapevo.com/podcasts/wealth-affect-marriage/) - I don’t know about you, but for me, it’s easy to fall into the “if…then” trap when it comes to money. If we had an extra 400 dollars a month, then dot dot dot. Or, If we had a 5 bedroom home instead of a 3 bedroom home then dot dot dot. And when we
- [2 Questions To Think About Before You End Your Marriage](https://therapevo.com/podcasts/2-questions-to-think-about-before-you-end-your-marriage/) - What do you do when your marriage is absolutely at the end of the road? Is divorce your only option? Does separation ever help couples reconcile? And is there ever such a thing as a marriage that’s beyond recovery? I’ve had a number of individuals reach out to me lately through our website saying that
- [Is My Marriage Beyond Recovery?](https://therapevo.com/podcasts/marriage-beyond-recovery/) - We know for some of you, this episode is going to be a tough one. We’re going to speak the truth in love because we’re committed to integrity, but at the same time we want to give you hope because this IS hope, and recovery of your marriage IS possible. If you’re at the point
- [Making Time For Your Spouse: 2 Strategies That Actually Work](https://therapevo.com/podcasts/making-time-spouse-2-strategies-actually-work/) - Why does it seem to be so difficult to create time to spend together? We all want to spend more time with our spouse and do more together, but so often it doesn’t fit into the schedule and we don’t quite get around to doing it. Sometimes the truth hurts. Today we’re going to give
- [Why Christian Couples Feel Guilty About Sex](https://therapevo.com/podcasts/why-christian-couples-feel-guilty-about-sex/) - Not every Christian couple feels guilty about sex, but a surprising number do. In fact, we’ve even been asked the question, “I’m married now, but I really, really look forward to and enjoy sex with my husband. Is that OK or is there something wrong with that?” To give you some context here, our moral
- [How to Reduce Debt: Part 5](https://therapevo.com/podcasts/how-to-reduce-debt-part-5/) - Because debt reduction is fundamentally a mental issue, not a financial one, this may be a different take on debt reduction that what you might be used to hearing. We’ll give some practical strategies and tactics, but first let’s figure out HOW we think about debt. Finances are a major stressor for most marriages, so
- [Budgeting for the Big Stuff (Part 4 of 5)](https://therapevo.com/podcasts/budgeting-for-the-big-stuff-part-4-of-4/) - Ever get nailed by a surprise bill? Yeah, you knew insurance was due for the year but you thought it wasn’t till next month? This episode is about pain relief! More specifically, relief from the impact of those bigger, occasional, or annual bills. Not only do we need to keep track of our everyday expenses
- [Commitment vs. Abandonment - Heart of Marriage Series (1 of 5)](https://therapevo.com/podcasts/commitment-vs-abandonment-heart-of-marriage-series-1-of-5/) - There are some things you can do without in marriage – and still have a pretty good marriage. Commitment is NOT one of those things. It is foundational. If you don’t have it, your marriage is toast. But, the good news is, even if you don’t have it right now, you can choose to be
- [How To Create Your Family Budget (Part 3 of 4)](https://therapevo.com/podcasts/how-to-create-your-family-budget-part-3-of-4/) - Today we’re getting into the nitty-gritty of HOW to create a family budget. We’ve done budgets and had to revisit them. We haven’t always been consistent with keeping a budget with moves and job transitions. But when we are budgeting, the stress in our marriage is much lower! First, let’s clarify what we know from
- [Housework: Who Does the Cleaning Up in Your Marriage?](https://therapevo.com/podcasts/housework-who-does-the-cleaning-up-in-your-marriage/) - We’ve noticed that a lot of marriages take a very traditional approach where all the work HE does is money-earning, and all the work SHE does in unpaid – and usually unacknowledged. So we ask, is this a good thing, or is it a problem? What happens for those wives who take on more and
- [Couples That Play Together Stay Together](https://therapevo.com/podcasts/couples-that-play-together-stay-together/) - Life is busy. So busy. But so often we let other people and other things run our schedules and in the process of allowing this to happen: what really matters to us gets bumped. Like time with our spouse…Date nights…Fun nights…Just time to hang out. What can we do to change that? We all hit phases in
- [How to Tell If You Have PTSD – The Signs You Need to Watch For](https://therapevo.com/podcasts/how-to-tell-if-you-have-ptsd-the-signs-you-need-to-watch-for/) - Have you ever felt constantly on edge? Like no matter how much you try to relax, your body just won't let you? Maybe you struggle with sleep, feel disconnected from others as you go through daily life, or find yourself reacting to situations in a way that surprises you. It's just kind of not you. And
- [When Did You Divorce Your Husband and Marry the Kids?](https://therapevo.com/podcasts/oyf002-divorce-husband-marry-kids/) - In our Internet world of picture-perfect mommy bloggers, Facebook updates about how cute our toddler’s latest saying was, and family-fun photos on Instagram, there’s a lot of pressure to be the perfect mom. But: what if all the mommy-glamour could become the ruin of your marriage? Today’s episode is about prioritizing marriage over parenting. Should
- [Why Receiving Influence is a Skill Every Husband Needs to Learn](https://therapevo.com/podcasts/oyf003-receiving-influence-skill-every-husband-needs-learn/) - Do you ever wonder why your wife just isn’t getting on board with your decisions? Whatever your idea or plan was, it made perfect sense. But your wife isn’t going along with it--and in fact may even be pulling the other direction! This podcast is about one thing we husbands must learn to do well
- [The Strongest Predictor of Divorce Is...](https://therapevo.com/podcasts/oyf005-strongest-predictor-divorce/) - We all know that one sure-fire way to get cancer is by smoking cigarettes. What if there was one thing that is cancerous to marriage? Today we’re going to look at one feeling that could destroy your marriage and what we can do to defend ourselves against this. What is this one thing? You might
- [Six Dynamics That Influence In-Law Relationships, Part 1](https://therapevo.com/podcasts/oyf006-six-dynamics-that-influence-inlaws-part1/) - I was at a magic show, when after one particularly amazing trick, someone screamed out, “Wow, how did you do that?” “I would tell you”, answered the magician predictably, “but then I’d have to kill you.” After a moment’s pause, the same voice yelled back “Can you tell my mother in law?” In-laws Are Special!
- [Six Dynamics That Influence In-Law Relationships, Part 2](https://therapevo.com/podcasts/oyf007-six-dynamics-influence-law-relationships-part-2/) - We started with the subject of in-laws in Episode 6 and learned that there are some powerful but subtle psychological mechanisms that can come into play in our relationships with our in-laws. The more we are aware of these things and of our own "stuff", the better equipped we are to maintain a healthy relationship
- [Eyes-Open Sex -- Fully Engaged Intimacy](https://therapevo.com/podcasts/oyf008-eyes-open-sex/) - So, if you’ve been married more than a week, you know there’s a difference between intimacy and sex. You can have either one without the other, but together, it is an incredible experience! What is Fully Engaged Sex? Fully engaged sex is when both spouses are fully present and there is a real sense of
- [Stop Hiding From Your Spouse! Fears of Intimacy (Part 1 of 3)](https://therapevo.com/podcasts/oyf009-stop-hiding-spouse-fear-of-intimacy-part-1-3/) - When you hesitate and find yourself stopping just before sharing something very personal with your spouse, how do you make sense of that? Shouldn’t we be able to share everything with our soul mate? Fear of Intimacy, Part 1 We all bring some fears to our relationship. Usually, one or more of the six fears
- [Stop Hiding From Your Spouse! Fears of Intimacy (Part 3 of 3)](https://therapevo.com/podcasts/oyf011-stop-hiding-spouse-fears-intimacy-part-3-3/) - Sometimes it is just too scary to let someone else make the decisions. Other times the fear of losing someone is so powerful we won’t even let ourselves get close to them. These sound rather extreme but are more common in marriages than we might think. Let’s take a look at what triggers these fears. Again, we want
- [Is It Ever OK to Say, "If you do XYZ, I'm gonna divorce you?"](https://therapevo.com/podcasts/oyf013-ever-ok-say-xyz-im-gonna-divorce/) - I know we all can come out with some doozies in a rip-roarin' marital. However, one of the most important rules of fair fighting is: the threat of divorce is never on the table. Divorce: Unjust if In Jest? So this is a short episode because we are on holidays! But we wanted to leave
- [5-for-5! A Quick and Easy Way to Rock Your Marriage!](https://therapevo.com/podcasts/oyf014-5-5-quick-easy-way-rock-marriage/) - A Ritual of Emotional Connection This is a quick episode again as we are still vacationing in South Dakota! Dr. John Gottman, a leading researcher in the field of marriage therapy, encourages couples to establish what he calls, "rituals of emotional connection." There are hundreds of possibilities, but in this episode we share with you
- [Listen to Understand](https://therapevo.com/podcasts/oyf015-listen-to-understand/) - How awesome does it feel to be completely understood by someone – to feel that they ‘get’ you when you are explaining a problem!? Do you want to be a spouse that is able to give this blessing? Listening to understand is one of those skills in marriage that doesn’t have a very sexy label,
- [How to Use Your Marriage for Stress Relief!](https://therapevo.com/podcasts/oyf016-use-marriage-stress-relief/) - Where do you go with your stress? Do you take it out on your wife or husband? Or do you take it to your spouse? I know, I know, there are a lot of jokes about marriage adding to your stress… The great thing about marriage though, is that its design is perfect for the
- [Why Comparison Makes You A Miserable Spouse](https://therapevo.com/podcasts/why-comparison-makes-you-a-miserable-spouse/) - Why do we spend so much time comparing ourselves to others? Is it a fear of rejection? Of not being good enough? Making comparisons is never healthy, but in the context of marriage, it can suck the soul right out of it. It is draining and destructive. Why? It's because it leaves us looking for
- [3 Types of Negativity That Will Ruin Your Marriage](https://therapevo.com/podcasts/oyf018-3-types-negativity-will-ruin-marriage/) - You know, even if you are committed to your marriage, you can still make it a miserable experience. Today, we will look at three negativity traps you can fall into and how to get out of them! If you have ever felt yourself stuck in a rut of negativity, you know how draining that can
- [Three Tips For Rocking Your Vacation](https://therapevo.com/podcasts/three-tips-to-rock-your-vacation/) - After going on a vacation, have you ever noticed the fact that oftentimes your family and friends are more excited about your vacation than you are? Sure, a lot of us enjoy our vacations, but they can be kind of stressful too! Why is it that we expect uninterrupted bliss, but the reality is most
- [3 Ways To Affair-Proof Your Marriage](https://therapevo.com/podcasts/3-ways-affair-proof-marriage/) - Who ever starts their day by thinking, “Hey, I’m going to have an affair today?” Doesn’t happen! But, how many people do you know – or maybe this has been you – that find themselves one day asking, “How did this affair ever happen to our marriage?” Our prayer in writing this is that it
- [Interview with Tyler Ward](https://therapevo.com/podcasts/interview-tyler-ward/) - We had the privilege this week of interviewing Tyler Ward, author of Marriage Rebranded: Modern Misconceptions & the Unnatural Art of Loving Another Person. Tyler found that about 18 months into his marriage, despite having an awesome wife, things started to go south. Fights and arguments were becoming the norm. Knowing that he wanted better
- [Get Out! Real Ultimatums in Marriage!](https://therapevo.com/podcasts/real-ultimatums-marriage/) - Christians have been trying to figure out for centuries: is divorce and remarriage ever the right thing to do? For some, that’s an intellectual discussion – for others, it’s a huge, unexpected reality in their lives. Back in Episode 13, we answered the question, “Is it ever OK to say, ‘If you do XYZ I’m
- [Speaking Well Of Your Spouse Affects Your Health?](https://therapevo.com/podcasts/speaking-well-of-your-spouse-affects-your-health/) - Ladies, isn’t it an awesome feeling when you overhear your husband talking to one of his buddies and he says something nice about you? If you have already listened to the podcast, then you know that Caleb started quoting “nice things” about me from the Songs of Solomon. Lol! Overhearing compliments such as “Guys, my
- [Hug Your Way To A Better Marriage!](https://therapevo.com/podcasts/hug-your-way-to-better-marriage/) - I certainly hope reading this is going to make you want to find your spouse right now and give them a GREAT BIG SQUEEZE! And don’t be fooled – we’re not talking about how tightly you squeeze, we’re talking about how well you do the squeeze! The Power of the Hug The power of hugging
- [Does Homeschooling Wreck Marriages?](https://therapevo.com/podcasts/does-homeschooling-wreck-marriages/) - Does homeschooling actually wreck marriages? Absolutely! But no more than sending your kids to public school… No matter what situation we find ourselves in, we need to realize the impact on our marriage and compensate accordingly. The fact is homeschooling presents different challenges than public schooling or even having both parents work outside the home.
- [Triangles -- How Trigonometry Impacts Your Marriage!](https://therapevo.com/podcasts/triangles-how-trigonometry-impacts-your-marriage/) - I found the topic of triangles in marriage to be fascinating. How often do I get my nose out of joint by something my husband does? And then try to get my support from someone else? THAT is creating a triangle! What Is A Triangle? Triangles are three-way relationships. Usually, this looks like mom-dad-child, or
- [Have You Tried The Miracle Question?](https://therapevo.com/podcasts/have-you-tried-miracle-question/) - If you woke up tomorrow and a miracle happened so that you had a thriving, passionate marriage, what would you see differently? What would be the first signs that a miracle had occurred? Today, on our podcast, Caleb introduced me to the “miracle question” above – the lynch pin question in Solution Focused Therapy. You
- [Two Tips To Manage Your Defensiveness](https://therapevo.com/podcasts/two-tips-manage-your-defensiveness/) - Maybe you’re not like me. Maybe you don’t REACT to everything. Maybe you should be writing this post about defensiveness… In this week’s podcast episode, Caleb talked about defensiveness and how you can disarm your own defensiveness. I especially need to learn how to disarm my defensiveness, as I seem to react every single time
- [Womanspeak](https://therapevo.com/podcasts/womanspeak/) - Ever have a conversation that goes something like this? Hubby: So are we all good then, honey? Wifey: Yup. Hubby: You’re sure. Wifey: Yes, I’m fine. Hubby: OK then. I’ll take your word for it… What Exactly Is Womanspeak? Womanspeak is saying something where the meaning is different from the intent of the words spoken.
- [Stop Hiding From Your Spouse! Fears of Intimacy (Part 2 of 3)](https://therapevo.com/podcasts/oyf010-stop-hiding-spouse-fears-intimacy-part-2-3/) - If you've ever come up against some really strong feelings - either your own or someone else's - then you've probably felt yourself freaking out a little bit. Going into flight, fight or freeze mode! In Part 2, we talk about the fear of feelings and the fear of anger. Fears of Intimacy As we
- [3 Ways To Make Your Marriage Happier Today!](https://therapevo.com/podcasts/3-ways-make-marriage-happier-today/) - Ahhhh, marital bliss! Socrates himself apparently once said, “By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you’ll become happy. If you get a bad one, you’ll become a philosopher.” We joke and we laugh about terrible wives and worse husbands. The truth of the matter is, unless we invest in our marriages, we
- [Why Fighting is Good For Your Marriage](https://therapevo.com/podcasts/why-fighting-good-for-your-marriage/) - Fighting is something I am passionate about. Probably because I was so bad at it when we first got married… I would get mad and come across as hostile, crying and flinging words that I didn’t always even mean. Caleb would try to apologize, calm me down and say whatever it took to get himself
- [Ground Rules For A Good Fight](https://therapevo.com/podcasts/ground-rules-for-good-fight/) - Most of us have the wrong idea about conflict in marriage. We fear the conflict could lead to the disintegration of our marriage. That’s a reasonable fear, in many ways. But we paint with too broad a brush. You see, it’s not the conflict itself that puts the marriage at risk but rather the behaviours
- [How To Repair After A Fight](https://therapevo.com/podcasts/how-to-repair-after-fight/) - After a fight, you basically have four options: you can exit the relationship, you can be patient and loyal by waiting for your spouse to change, you can neglect your spouse, or you can repair. (Branau-Browna & Ragsdale, 2008) We’ve discussed fighting in the last few topics: why fighting for your marriage is good, different
- [How Jesus Almost Grew Up With A Single Mom](https://therapevo.com/podcasts/how-jesus-almost-grew-up-with-single-mom/) - Christmas is supposed to be a time of joy and cheer with everybody bubbling over with joy. Sometimes it is, but sometimes it just plain hurts. It’s the time of year when there is so much stress and tension. Maybe you’re alone this year, and there is a lot of grief and pain involved. No
- [Sleep Your Way To A Better Marriage - Shawn Stevenson Interview](https://therapevo.com/podcasts/sleep-your-way-to-better-marriage-shawn-stevenson/) - Here’s a fresh thought for fixing or just strengthening your marriage this year: try improving your sleep quality. Really? Yes, really. In this episode of our marriage podcast, we interview Shawn Stevens. He is a best-selling author and the creator of the Model Health Show, currently the #1 Nutrition and Fitness podcast in the world
- [How Are You Enriching Your Marriage This Year?](https://therapevo.com/podcasts/how-are-you-enriching-your-marriage-this-year/) - One of the things we want to get you thinking about at the very start of this year is what you are going to do, with deliberate purpose, to enrich your marriage this year. Marriage is an easy thing to take for granted. Think for a moment about the things you value most. What do
- [Four Critical Habits to Deepen Your Love](https://therapevo.com/podcasts/four-critical-habits-deepen-your-love/) - Ahhh...the science of love. It’s pretty cool that something as amorphous as love can be studied. And even cooler when you find research that identifies the daily habits that catalyze the deepening of love. Withdrawer or Pursuer? Some of the most helpful research on love falls under what is known as Attachment Theory. It’s a
- [Infidelity Starts Long Before The Affair](https://therapevo.com/podcasts/infidelity-starts-long-before-affair/) - What does faithfulness, or fidelity, mean in your marriage? What does it look like? Are your boundaries strong enough to protect your marriage from an affair? What got us started down this road of thinking is the observation that you can be in a committed marriage and never have sex outside that marriage for forty
- [Distraction is Killing Your Marriage](https://therapevo.com/podcasts/distraction-killing-your-marriage/) - In 2015, couples are saying that communication is their biggest struggle. Why, when we’ve never had so many ways to communicate and keep in touch as we do now, are people still struggling with this? The research is somewhat ironic. Well, not the research itself, but the fact that the topic of marriage communication was
- [Valentine's Day. Love It or Hate It?](https://therapevo.com/podcasts/valentines-day-love-it-or-hate-it/) - It’s Valentines Day this weekend! Happy Valentine’s Day! We specialize in marriage and love so we’re supposed to be all enthused about Valentine’s, right!? So, why do we have mixed feelings about it all? First, some history… There is no firm historical record of how Valentine’s Day came to be, but there are a couple
- [Let It Go or Confront It?](https://therapevo.com/podcasts/let-it-go-or-confront-it/) - As I sit here, gazing at a picture of my handsome husband, I am asking myself the question, “Should I talk to him about it? It has been bugging me for a few days… Oh, I know! I’ll just shoot him a text message and hint at it – that’ll work out well!” NOT! I
- [Top 5 Predictors of Marital Success](https://therapevo.com/podcasts/top-5-predictors-marital-success/) - What if you could focus on just five things to make sure that your marriage is a success? Relationships can sometimes seem pretty complicated. For this reason, we took a step back to ask the question, “What are the core things that we MUST focus on to make sure we’re on the right track towards
- [Touch Her Heart Before You Touch Her Body](https://therapevo.com/podcasts/touch-her-heart-before-you-touch-her-body/) - Because of how sexuality is portrayed in media and how we are socialized to perceive it in our culture, I think there’s this perception that arousal is just something you flip the switch on to get things warmed up for sex. In reality though, what happens in the marriage bed starts much earlier, and much
- [Does Money Affect Your Marriage?](https://therapevo.com/podcasts/does-money-affect-your-marriage/) - There is a lot of discussions nowadays in the business world about work-life balance. Today I want to challenge and inspire you to think seriously about your work-marriage balance! Materialism is the excessive desire to acquire and consume material goods. Think about the choices and values you place on material things (things you can buy)
- [10 Tips for Closer Connection](https://therapevo.com/podcasts/10-tips-closer-connection/) - We live in a quick-fix society. Everything is easy, cheap and disposable. Somehow we’re trained to think about what we get OUT of things, rather than what we can build into them to make them better. Sometimes marriage can seem complicated. Daily rituals are the little things that can combat the rough areas and make
- [If I Need You, Does That Make Me Needy?](https://therapevo.com/podcasts/if-i-need-you-does-that-make-me-needy/) - In marriage, we need to strike a healthy balance between independence and dependence on each other. This is where we sort out the sticky stuff like needing you as my spouse versus just being needy - being an individual without taking away from a sense of ‘us’. Differentiation is a key paradox of healthy marriage and
- [It's Not Always My Fault!](https://therapevo.com/podcasts/not-always-my-fault/) - Do you find yourself always taking the blame for everything? I mean, not so much in the sense that your spouse won’t accept any, but that you just find that YOU blame yourself for everything? Even your spouse thinks you take too much responsibility for things? Last week we discussed differentiation. Remember, differentiation is the
- [Marriage After Your First Child](https://therapevo.com/podcasts/marriage-after-your-first-child/) - I read a comic strip once about pregnancy and childbirth that had the title “Help, my entertainment center is now a juice bar!" While it struck my funny bone, there is so much truth in that statement. We may think that adding our firstborn to the family will be all hunky-dory, fun and games, but
- [3 Ways To Support Your Spouse When You Disagree](https://therapevo.com/podcasts/3-ways-to-support-your-spouse-when-you-disagree/) - I know what you’re thinking. Why on earth would I want to support my spouse when we’re fighting? Well, because you want to stay married, that’s why. That’s the “brutally-loving” truth! But, there’s more. It makes fighting productive. Yes. That’s right. I mean it. It actually makes the conflict helpful for your marriage. Now, I
- [Four Reasons Why You Must Do Pre-Marital Coaching](https://therapevo.com/podcasts/four-reasons-why-you-must-do-pre-marital-coaching/) - My own daughter asked me today, “So, why do people do pre-marital counseling?” She’s 13. I’m glad she’s asking. You are likely wondering the same thing if you're reading this and so I’d like to make a case for it. Not just for my own benefit – I do offer pre-marital counseling/coaching – but for
- [How to Disagree Without Sinking Your Love Boat](https://therapevo.com/podcasts/how-to-disagree-without-sinking-your-love-boat/) - OK. So you had ANOTHER fight - another disagreement. It’s like, man, are we ever going to stop fighting? Remember, the goal is not achieving zero disagreements, it’s learning to disagree productively! Caleb and I recently had a disagreement. Caleb told the story in our podcast episode: “So I remember a recent disagreement we had. We
- [Why You Need To Budget (Part 1 of 4)](https://therapevo.com/podcasts/why-you-need-to-budget-part-1-of-4/) - Budgeting can feel like such a ball and chain. Why is it such a pain point for so many of us? This is the first article in a mini-series on Family Budgeting. Today we make a case for WHY you need to budget. Usually, every relationship has a spender and a saver. Caleb is our
- [How To Negotiate A Budget (Part 2 of 4)](https://therapevo.com/podcasts/how-to-negotiate-a-budget-part-2-of-4/) - Negotiating a family budget can be a real fire-starter for some couples. We may know we need a budget and want to live within our means, but the fights that the discussions cause can be so painful, that it’s easier to avoid them. We want to change that today. For Caleb and I, a lot
- [Healthy Marriage Without Good Role Models](https://therapevo.com/podcasts/healthy-marriage-without-good-role-models/) - So, what if your parents didn’t have a great marriage? Or, maybe other folks who served as role models in your life haven’t modeled a healthy, thriving marriage? Are you hooped, or is there hope? Let’s figure out if there’s any hope. If you are in this situation of having poor role models, you are
- [How to Rebuild Trust in Your Marriage](https://therapevo.com/podcasts/how-to-rebuild-trust-in-your-marriage/) - Even if it feels impossible at this moment, I want you to know that it is possible to rebuilt trust, to create safety and to restore intimacy to your marriage. I’m not saying it’s going to be easy or simple. I can’t even promise that your trust will never be broken again. But I am
- [Marla Cilley Interview: The FlyLady Helped Our Home and Will Help Yours Too!](https://therapevo.com/podcasts/marla-cilley-flylady-interview/) - Have you ever been in that place? You know, you come home from work… the house is a mess… you don’t want to be there… you’re yelling at the kids… you’re yelling at your spouse because your environment is a mess but it’s like your inside is a mess and your emotions are a mess
- [How To Create and Deliver a Legendary Wedding Speech](https://therapevo.com/podcasts/how-to-create-and-deliver-a-legendary-wedding-speech/) - Most wedding speeches are lame. There, I said it. Somebody needed to. We have a lot of listeners tuning into our podcast because they're getting ready for marriage. If that is you, and if you are the groom, in particular, I would like you to heed the advice herein. Epic Wedding Speech-making Your wedding speech
- [50 Romantic Text Messages to Send to Your Spouse](https://therapevo.com/podcasts/50-romantic-text-messages-to-send-to-your-spouse/) - I think that one of the lamest things to do is to break up a relationship by text message. Lame, lame, lame. But you're married now and looking for a way to keep the flame alive, right? So, today as part of our mini-series of short summer episodes we're looking at a redemptive use of
- [Sticky Notes Are The Best Love Notes](https://therapevo.com/podcasts/sticky-notes-are-the-best-love-notes/) - Marriage can seem pretty complicated. There are scores of websites, hundreds of books and thousands of research articles. And yet folks -- perhaps even yourselves – are still struggling. Sticky Notes Are Simple Sometimes it’s nice just to back off from all that complexity. Think simple thoughts. Do simple things that make a difference. In
- [Every Couple Needs a Graffiti Tag](https://therapevo.com/podcasts/every-couple-needs-a-graffiti-tag/) - Another quick summer episode here as we take a break from our usual programming. And, contrary to what you might assume from the title, we’re not going to ask you to do anything illegal! A Graffiti Tag for Your Marriage Our graffiti tag is simple. It just looks like C+V. But we have fun putting
- [Back to School! What About Your Marriage?](https://therapevo.com/podcasts/back-to-school-what-about-your-marriage/) - Back to school means a change in routine for many families. Summer holidays are over (or, will be shortly) and once September arrives we’re into a new rhythm. Verlynda and I thought that this adjustment was the perfect opportunity to make sure you prioritize your marriage as you adjust to the new routine. Back To
- [Don't Take Your Marriage For Granted: 5 Strategies to Keep Things Fresh](https://therapevo.com/podcasts/dont-take-your-marriage-for-granted-5-strategies-to-keep-things-fresh/) - I take Verlynda for granted sometimes. There’s no escaping the truth. In fact, if you pause for a moment I’m sure you’ll have to admit the same with regards to your spouse. What’s odd is that it happens so subtly. But when I finally clue in, it’s so obvious. Kind of the like the proverbial
- [The Three Best Ways to Ruin Your Wife's Day](https://therapevo.com/podcasts/the-three-best-ways-to-ruin-your-wifes-day/) - Obviously, there will be quite a bit of satire in this post and we don’t actually want you to ruin your wife’s day, but the serious part is this: we want to highlight some key gender differences between guys and gals. Perhaps some of you are like Caleb – you came to marriage having been
- [The Three Best Ways to Ruin Your Husband's Day](https://therapevo.com/podcasts/the-three-best-ways-to-ruin-your-husbands-day/) - Ouch, these were painful for me, as a wife, to find out. I don’t even want to think of the times I’ve done these things… AND didn’t even know if it was painful to Caleb. You know, I went through the 3 Best Ways to Ruin Your Wife’s Day and totally understood EVERY ONE of them.
- [Talk About It Sooner Before It’s a Big Deal](https://therapevo.com/podcasts/talk-about-it-sooner-before-its-a-big-deal/) - Do you ever NOT deal with something between you and your spouse, hoping it will just blow over or that it’s a passing issue? And perhaps life does sail smoothly for a while and then later, BOOM, it comes backs to bite you!? Making it a principle in your marriage to talk about issues sooner
- [Religiosity Won't Help Your Marriage](https://therapevo.com/podcasts/religiosity-wont-help-your-marriage/) - We had this idea that we were trying to figure out. If you get really fanatical about church and ministry, does that form a point for your marriage to rally around? Or does that investment come at the expense of your marriage? This is, in part, prompted by the observation that a lot of highly
- [Parenting For The Benefit Of Your Marriage](https://therapevo.com/podcasts/parenting-for-benefit-of-your-marriage/) - It is a well-researched fact that having a baby usually has a negative impact on your marital satisfaction. Let’s look at the whole early parenting thing and draw out some important lessons for married couples who are parents or about to become parents. As you transition into parenthood, you’ll want to have some pretty specific
- [How To Rebuild Your Marriage After An Affair](https://therapevo.com/podcasts/how-to-rebuild-your-marriage-after-an-affair/) - Perhaps you’ve never gone through an affair in your marriage. Or perhaps you have. Have you ever felt the gut wrenching kick to your heart, or spent sleepless nights wondering where he is or what he’s doing? Or maybe you’re completely numb and not feeling anything anymore… There is nothing quite like the pain of
- [How To Help Your Spouse's Anxiety](https://therapevo.com/podcasts/how-to-help-your-spouses-anxiety/) - If you’re living with another human being in this wonderful institution called marriage, then there is a good chance that at some point in your experience as a couple, your spouse is going to experience anxiety. I’ve seen this over and over and believe me, some couples handle it much better than others. Here are
- [Who Wears The Pants In Your Marriage?](https://therapevo.com/podcasts/who-wears-the-pants-in-your-marriage/) - This is the second part of a topic that’s pretty common and can be pretty difficult for a lot of couples. It’s really just the idea that the wife is running the marriage and family and the husband is the breadwinner but not really engaged or involved as much as they would like him to
- [Acceptance vs. Rejection – Heart of Marriage Series (2 of 5)](https://therapevo.com/podcasts/acceptance-vs-rejection-heart-of-marriage-series-2-of-5/) - It’s not rocket science to know that rejecting your spouse is a really, really painful thing to do. But, think about the opposite for a moment: if I asked you to sit down and list the things you do regularly to communicate your unconditional acceptance of your spouse: how long would that list be? First
- [Loneliness vs. Intimacy – Heart of Marriage Series (3 of 5)](https://therapevo.com/podcasts/loneliness-vs-intimacy-heart-of-marriage-series-3-of-5/) - This is a big question. Are you lonely in your marriage? That is not a fun place to be, but there is good news – growing your intimacy can expel loneliness from your marriage and stop it from creeping back in. There is a bit of a chain reaction when it comes to loneliness in
- [Sacrifice vs. Entitlement - Heart of Marriage Series (4 of 5)](https://therapevo.com/podcasts/sacrifice-vs-entitlement-heart-of-marriage-series-4-of-5/) - It’s easy to feel entitled to certain rights and benefits from our marriages. That entitlement always seems to be there but is never helpful in creating a great marriage. Take hope though, there is a better way - it's called sacrifice. Gary Thomas’ book “Sacred Marriage” speaks to this when he asks the question, 'What if marriage
- [Respect vs. Contempt - Heart of Marriage Series (5 of 5)](https://therapevo.com/podcasts/respect-vs-contempt-heart-of-marriage-series-5-of-5/) - Respect. We all want it, and we don’t want any exceptions - but we all know how easy we can turn it off and get our ugly on when things aren’t going our way! Respect is on the decline, generally, in our culture, but one of the most important places we can show respect is
- [Self-Care Is Marriage Care](https://therapevo.com/podcasts/self-care-is-marriage-care/) - So, we all know the old saying, “You can’t change your spouse, you can only change yourself”. Well, apparently that saying isn’t 100% true. You can actually leverage your self-care to feel better about yourself and consequently, improve the well being of your marriage. Self-care is integral to the health of our marriages. There are
- [How Body Image Issues Can Ruin Your Sex Life - Part 1](https://therapevo.com/podcasts/body-image-and-sexual-functioning/) - Body image and sex…. a super sensitive topic for a lot of people. We’ll try to be gentle, but we’ll also be challenging you to do some serious thinking about your self-image and the expectations you’re bringing to your sexual intimacy. This is a really stressful topic, and guys walk on eggshells around it. Caleb
- [How Body Image Issues Can Ruin Your Sex Life - Part 2](https://therapevo.com/podcasts/body-image-and-sexual-functioning-part-2/) - This is Part 2 of the series on Body Image and Sexual Functioning. If you have not read the first part, do so here. In the first half of this topic, we talked about the impact of social media, culture, and pornography on self-image and sexual self-consciousness. Today we talk about how you can help
- [How to Ramp Up Positivity in Your Marriage](https://therapevo.com/podcasts/how-to-ramp-up-positivity-in-your-marriage/) - The difference between negativity and positivity in marriage is the difference between a marriage filled with nagging, complaining, and criticism versus a marriage that is filled with affirmation, gratitude, and positive emotions. Let’s look at how negativity can be damaging to our marriages and then look at some specific strategies for bringing positivity into play.
- [Social Media is Destroying Your Marriage](https://therapevo.com/podcasts/social-media-is-destroying-your-marriage/) - We had a couple of people reach out and mention how they got into emotional affairs on Facebook – and almost into physical affairs. They really freaked themselves out and it’s thrown a real wrench into their marriage but they’re working on things now. While we’re not anti-social media, it’s time to realize the huge
- [How To Support Your Spouse During Hard Times](https://therapevo.com/podcasts/how-to-support-your-spouse-during-hard-times/) - Nobody is exempt from hard times. Sometimes we get hit as a couple and other times it is really just our spouse that bears the brunt of the burden. How can you draw alongside and support your spouse during those hard times? There is this innate advantage to being a couple in that we have
- [What To Do When Your Spouse Doesn't Want To Work On The Marriage](https://therapevo.com/podcasts/what-do-when-spouse-doesnt-want-work-on-marriage/) - What do you do when you want to fix your marriage and your spouse doesn’t think there’s a problem? Or maybe sees the problem but refuses to work on it? This is a really tough situation to be in where you are really worried about your marriage but your spouse isn’t on board – for
- [Sex Drive - Differences Can Be a Problem](https://therapevo.com/podcasts/sex-drive-differences-can-be-a-problem/) - So, you want less sex than your spouse does. Is that a problem? Well, it turns out that’s a question for your spouse. But if it is a problem, today we’re going to help you navigate your way through this delicate issue. Maybe you haven’t heard the terminology ‘low desire versus high desire’. Many marriages
- [The One Thing Every Distressed Marriage is Doing Wrong](https://therapevo.com/podcasts/one-thing-every-distressed-marriage-doing-wrong/) - Did you know that some of the very things you do to try to save your distressed marriage are in actual fact destroying it? Seriously. What is even more shocking is that they exist in every marriage. One of those things that we see everyday is called the pursue-withdraw cycle. Very simply, you have: A
- [Do Opposites Attract? Here’s the Research](https://therapevo.com/podcasts/opposites-attract-heres-research/) - Sometimes we ask more philosophical questions about the future of our marriages. One of those is that age-old question, do opposites attract? It turns out they do – and they don’t... How confusing is that! The research actually seems very contradictory over the whole opposites/similarities thing until you start to pull it apart carefully. Which
- [Phone Addiction is the New Alcoholism](https://therapevo.com/podcasts/phone-addiction-new-alcoholism/) - My cousins boss and the boss’ wife went fishing one day. It was the first time in a long time they were doing something together rather than him working and being on the phone ALL day. Apparently, his phone rang so he answered it (which fellows, was the wrong thing to do!), so his wife
- [Always Fighting About the Kids?](https://therapevo.com/podcasts/always-fighting-kids/) - On the Marriage Podcast for Smart People we don’t often talk about parenting. But when it’s impacting your marriage, then it’s our business! Fighting over kids, or parenting issues is a very common source of marital conflict. It’s common, but it’s also really frustrating and it can be a tough rut to get out of.
- [Fight The Problem - Not Each Other!](https://therapevo.com/podcasts/fight-problem-not/) - Conflict can be such a painful, frustrating experience. Is it really possible to turn conflict into an opportunity to grow closer rather than it being a catalyst to push you further apart? Both Caleb and the research think it’s possible! This topic was spawned by the question, “How can we do conflict as if we’re
- [How to Recover From Betrayal](https://therapevo.com/podcasts/how-to-recover-from-betrayal/) - Betrayal is such a ground-shaking event. Probably because it so deeply challenges your beliefs about someone incredibly significant in your life, and that, in turn, challenges your beliefs about yourself. So: what does the road forward, after betrayal, look like? Unfortunately, betrayal is a journey that every couple goes through at one time or another.
- [3 Things To Talk About Every Day](https://therapevo.com/podcasts/3-things-talk-every-day/) - Talking to each other seems like a pretty obvious topic, right? But, how many times have I asked Caleb, about a couple we’re working with, “Do they not talk???” This is a really fundamental issue that we see in most marriages we help. Folks are simply not having the basic day-to-day conversations they need to,
- [What To Do When Your Spouse Offends You](https://therapevo.com/podcasts/what-to-do-when-your-spouse-offends-you/) - So, your spouse just blew it. Again! How can you move from the place of being offended – and maybe feeling like a victim – to feeling like you’ve moved the dial on your marriage in a positive direction? We’ve all been in that situation where we’ve been offended by our spouse – when what
- [How to Create More Intimacy in Your Marriage](https://therapevo.com/podcasts/create-intimacy-marriage/) - If you really want to build more intimacy in your marriage – and who wouldn’t??? – here are four ways to do that. Take the time to hear, and digest this. 1st Way to Build Intimacy: Intimacy is Built Through Disclosure and Responsiveness Given that intimacy itself is purely emotional, let’s put a nice, sterile
- [10 Sure-Fire Ways To Make Time For Each Other in a Crazy Busy Marriage](https://therapevo.com/podcasts/10-sure-fire-ways-make-time-crazy-busy-marriage/) - Life is super busy. We get that. Rather than focusing on the hopelessness of the ‘busy’ problem, why not take the time you do have and make the most of it? Here are 10 sure-fire ways to make time for each other in a crazy busy marriage. These are not things that will ADD to
- [Find Yourself in a Roommate Marriage?](https://therapevo.com/podcasts/in-a-sexless-marriage/) - If your marriage is sexless, there is a way back to rekindling intimacy. It’s not easy, but it might not be as impossible as you think, either! We’ll help you understand some potential causes and then give you some direction to start point your marriage relationship back towards the wonder and joy of sex. The
- [If Your Spouse Is Too Jealous](https://therapevo.com/podcasts/if-your-spouse-is-too-jealous/) - Jealousy. This can drive some people absolutely nuts - and their spouse feels completely justified. It’s a real conundrum. And it’s particularly worse when the jealous spouse has had prior reason to become jealous — a betrayal has occurred. What does a person do? Healthy And Unhealthy Forms of Jealousy. Research shows that jealousy can
- [Hectic Life + Happily Married: Is It Possible?](https://therapevo.com/podcasts/oyf114-hectic-life-happily-married-possible/) - The common perception is that you can be super busy OR happily married. What we wanted to know is if you could be super busy AND happily married. Do you need to change your lifestyles, or are you good to go? No pressure! A lot of research and marriage advice points to the importance of spending
- [So You Stayed Married Just for the Kids’ Sake, Now What?](https://therapevo.com/podcasts/stayed-married-just-kids-sake-now/) - What happens if your marriage really hasn’t been that great but you’ve been sticking it out for the kids, or for some other reason. Let’s say the reason you’ve been sticking it out is no longer relevant… Now what? If the purpose for staying married is no longer relevant, is your marriage toast? Or can
- [Your Marriage Needs an Intimacy Checkup](https://therapevo.com/podcasts/marriage-needs-intimacy-checkup/) - Intimacy is one of the deepest needs of the human heart. We all crave it and we all enjoy it when we experience it in our marriages. Today, you need to pause and consider how you’re doing on the intimacy in your marriage. We experience and express intimacy in different ways, so think of this
- [How to Appreciate Your Spouse](https://therapevo.com/podcasts/how-to-appreciate-your-spouse/) - Maybe your spouse has complained to you that he or she just doesn’t feel appreciated. Well, let’s just take that at face value today and work on this whole appreciation thing. It can only help, right? One of my favorite Bible verses is: “You must let no unwholesome word come out of your mouth, but
- [What to Talk About on Your Next Date](https://therapevo.com/podcasts/talk-next-date/) - Even if you're happily married you might find dates with your spouse kind of awkward sometimes. What do you talk about? I know we struggle at times to have an easy flow of conversation, too. I don’t know what it is about dates that make it difficult to know what to talk about. Sometimes we’re
- [Overcoming Infidelity: 30 Days to Recovery](https://therapevo.com/podcasts/overcoming-infidelity-30-days-recovery/) - Has infidelity impacted your marriage? Do you feel like you need guidance through recovery and rebuilding your marriage? A few months ago we ran a 15 Day Marriage Challenge and were absolutely stunned by the number of people going through that process who were dealing with betrayal in the form of an affair or infidelity.
- [Emotional Intimacy is the Key to Great Sex](https://therapevo.com/podcasts/emotional-intimacy-is-the-key-to-great-sex/) - What do you do when you want to spice up your sex life? We usually start thinking about new positions, or lingerie or maybe traveling to some exotic location with our spouse. Physical things. But what if the key to great sex was found in a completely different dimension? Sexual Experience Types & Attachment The
- [Stop Bottling Up Stuff In Your Marriage](https://therapevo.com/podcasts/stop-bottling-up-stuff-in-marriage/) - I find it’s pretty easy to avoid conflict. I kind of stockpile the issues until it gets really big and then I feel like I’m ready to talk. But the irony is: that’s actually when I’m least ready to talk. As soon as I open my mouth I know it’s not going to go well.
- [Is My Husband Abusive? [1 of 3]](https://therapevo.com/podcasts/is-my-husband-abusive/) - Abuse is such a tough situation. We want to speak to all the brave wives out there who are putting on the mask every Sunday and acting like things are OK when every week you live through a cycle of walking on eggshells, explosions, the honeymoon stage and then starting all over again. But abuse isn’t
- [Can Abusive Husbands Change? [2 of 3]](https://therapevo.com/podcasts/can-abusive-husbands-change/) - Will the abuse get better? Or is it going to stay the same? Abuse is deeply rooted in belief systems and so we want to talk about recovery rates and how to figure out if you might consider sticking things out or if there is no hope for your husband. Today we’re going to be
- [When to Leave (or Stay In) an Abusive Marriage [3 of 3]](https://therapevo.com/podcasts/when-to-leave-an-abusive-marriage/) - Today’s episode is twice the challenge: we’re dealing with the difficult subject of abuse in marriage but we’re also talking about when to leave a marriage too, which, under normal circumstances, is contrary to our personal values and our mission to help save marriages. So read carefully and thoughtfully as we navigate this very difficult
- [Why You're Using the Love Languages All Wrong](https://therapevo.com/podcasts/you-are-using-the-love-languages-wrong/) - I was originally thinking of coming up with an inflammatory title for this post like “Chapman’s Love Languages Debunked” because that makes for good clickbait on the internet! But this is The Marriage Podcast for Smart People and I figured, well, smart people are going to see that I’m just trying to create hype. And
- [The Best Sex Happens Inside Marriage](https://therapevo.com/podcasts/best-sex-happens-inside-marriage/) - Is this just a Christian myth? Is the idea that the best sex occurs within marriage something that is only believed by church-going people? What does the research say? If you’re struggling with your sex life we offer sound, research-based advice, and today, hope for a constantly improving sex life too. Today we’re going to be looking
- [Is Trauma Impacting Your Marriage?](https://therapevo.com/podcasts/trauma-impacting-marriage/) - Do you ever get the sense that an unseen force is at work in your marriage? I’m not going all woo-woo on you here, but what if you could identify that force, understand it, and then use your marriage as a place of healing? If you've been through some kind of deeply traumatic experience then
- [The Impact of Trauma on Marital Sexuality](https://therapevo.com/podcasts/impact-trauma-marital-sexuality/) - Did you know that 89% of veterans experiencing PTSD report one or more kinds of sexual dysfunction? And that survivors of childhood sexual abuse have a very common set of negative feelings and beliefs about sex? That’s the bad news. The good news: your marriage can become a place to help heal trauma — even
- [What To Do When You’ve Just Discovered Your Husband’s Porn Habit](https://therapevo.com/podcasts/when-youve-discovered-your-husbands-porn-habit/) - This week we’re hitting a very specific moment that is occurring in many marriages; that moment when you discover your husband’s porn habit. The revelation that your husband is addicted to some form of pornography is obviously a huge problem and a real shock to your marriage. But we're going to look at what the
- [Why Every Couple Needs to Pray Together](https://therapevo.com/podcasts/every-couple-needs-to-pray-together/) - So for a long time, I thought praying together was just a nice thing to do. It was one of those optional, lets-do-this-if-we-remember kind of things. But with time, my perspective on this has shifted. A lot. Regular readers of the blog will know that we offer sound, research-based advice, as well as speaking from
- [My Husband Is Not an Emotional Guy](https://therapevo.com/podcasts/my-husband-is-not-emotional-guy/) - If I had a dollar every time a husband told me he wasn’t a very emotional guy, I’d be retired by now. But hey, I’m not judging. I used to think the same thing. Turns out: it’s pure bunkum. And it’s messing up your marriage too. It’s definitely a very commonly held view that women
- [A Marriage Survival Guide for Parents with Toddlers](https://therapevo.com/podcasts/marriage-survival-guide-parents-toddlers/) - Maybe today find yourself in that crazy busy time of life: raising toddlers. It’s that endless flow of diapers, trying to get kids to sleep properly, picky eating, piles of laundry, their boundless energy and so on and so forth. The question is: how do you even begin to create time and energy for your
- [Why a Fair Division of Labor is Important in Marriage](https://therapevo.com/podcasts/fair-division-labor-important-marriage/) - Well, this should be a fun subject! There are a lot of factors that go into how household chores get divided up between husband and wife, and today we want to give you guidance as to how to do that without creating any unnecessary conflict or resentment. Have you and your spouse ever had an
- [The Essentials of a Successful Cross-Cultural Marriage](https://therapevo.com/podcasts/essentials-successful-cross-cultural-marriage/) - One of the benefits of being a patron of The Marriage Podcast for Smart People is that you’re given the opportunity to request topics. One of our patrons asked us to address cross-cultural or inter-racial marriages. It’s an interesting area, with research showing that there are some common difficulties inter-racial couples face, as well as
- [Is It Even Possible to Have a Happy Marriage?](https://therapevo.com/podcasts/is-it-even-possible-to-have-a-happy-marriage/) - Marriage can have some really, really tough times — maybe you’re in that mode right now — and have been for a while. You wonder: is this all there is? Does anyone really enjoy this? Or maybe your marriage is not horrible but it’s only just tolerable. Maybe steady but dull. You’re wondering if there’s
- [How to Porn-Proof Your Marriage](https://therapevo.com/podcasts/porn-proof-marriage/) - Suggesting that it is possible to porn-proof your marriage may appear to be preposterous. Porn is so prevalent in our culture that it may be simply impossible to prevent yourself from seeing and coming into contact with pornography. However, what if you could build a marriage relationship and a shared worldview where pornography was not
- [Five Fundamentals of Good Marriage Communication](https://therapevo.com/podcasts/five-fundamentals-of-good-marriage-communication/) - Have you ever had a conversation with your spouse where you just couldn’t get through to them? You’re trying to explain something, but they’re either not listening or completely misunderstanding you. Or maybe a small miscommunication turned into a bigger argument, leaving you wondering, “What just happened?” Here, we break down the five key fundamentals
- [Avoidant Attachment in Marriage](https://therapevo.com/podcasts/avoidant-attachment-in-marriage/) - When we look at some of the areas that people with an avoidant attachment style struggle in, it’s easy to focus on extremes or exaggerate the way they interact with you. But your spouse can be avoidantly attached to you and still be a faithful, committed, reliable person in the marriage. In this article, we’re
- [How Does Menopause Affect Marriage?](https://therapevo.com/podcasts/how-menopause-affects-marriage/) - Now menopause isn’t something that I’m likely to experience but it is something that half of you are going to go through, or have gone through, and the other half will observe. And since it’s going to impact your marriage, we might as well be smart people and make sure we’re prepared for it! Menopause
- [When Introverts Marry Extroverts](https://therapevo.com/podcasts/when-introverts-marry-extroverts/) - This one should be fun to look at as Verlynda and I personally sit on opposite sides of the field on this issue! But, as it turns out, there may even be some hope for folks like us! It’s a classic scenario: you’ve got a free evening and one of you wants to go and
- [Is Fear Wrecking Your Marriage?](https://therapevo.com/podcasts/is-fear-wrecking-marriage/) - Fear is a frightening thing. In marriage, it is usually an invisible force. Like the winds of a storm: invisible itself but threatening and destructive. However, fear is always extinguished by the steady flame of committed love. I think we all carry some fear in our hearts, at some level. In fact, I would go
- [Learn to Date Your Spouse Again](https://therapevo.com/podcasts/learn-to-date-your-spouse-again/) - In our previous show, we talked about the neuroscience of romantic love. Today we’re going to address the behavioral side of things to help you rekindle the passion in your marriage. Dating can be one of the most exciting times in any relationship: it’s when you’re constantly thinking about each other, finding out so much
- [Am I a Sex Addict?](https://therapevo.com/podcasts/am-i-a-sex-addict/) - A while back, I completed 4 and a half days of training on the assessment and treatment of sex addiction. You might be thinking “I’m not a sex addict so this isn’t relevant”, but I’d encourage you to listen to this week’s podcast regardless because we’ll also talk a lot about what healthy sexuality looks
- [Help! My Spouse is a Perfectionist!](https://therapevo.com/podcasts/my-spouse-is-a-perfectionist/) - Perfectionism is not too far from any of our hearts. Certainly, anyone who is on Facebook or Instagram knows that we, just like everybody else, tend to present the perfect image of ourselves on these channels. But: we want to ask the question, how does this affect our marriage? The topic of perfectionism was suggested
- [Remarriage After Bereavement](https://therapevo.com/podcasts/remarriage-after-bereavement/) - Remarriage after bereavement. Maybe I get a little selfish and hope that I’ll never have to face the loss of a spouse. When I’m feeling more noble and altruistic, I hope my spouse will never have to face it. But regardless, nearly 100% of couples face the loss of their significant other during their lifetime.
- [Do I Have to Care About My Spouse's Hobbies?](https://therapevo.com/podcasts/care-spouses-hobbies/) - This is a question that comes up more often than I would have expected. We’ll address this issue of shared interests but at the end of the post I am going to go a whole layer deeper and tell you what really matters for couples that are focusing on this issue. Some couples seem to
- [Q&A on Boundaries and PISD](https://therapevo.com/podcasts/qa-boundaries-pisd/) - So what if you’re good friends with another couple and the wife there is a little too attentive to your husband? Or, another patron is asking: what if both my spouse and I are experiencing PISD (post infidelity stress disorder)? Today we’re going to be handling two questions from our much-valued listeners of our podcast.
- [Q&A on a Disconnected Marriage and Shared Leisure](https://therapevo.com/podcasts/qa-disconnected-marriage-shared-leisure/) - What if you’ve been doing things in your marriage for years that you now realize have really left you disconnected? And yet both of you want to rebuild and recover what you have? Where do you start? What if you’ve been doing things in your marriage for years that you now realize have really left
- [What is Trauma Bonding?](https://therapevo.com/podcasts/what-is-trauma-bonding/) - This is not a very well known term: trauma bonding. But if you are in an abusive relationship, or are supporting someone else who is in one, or if you experienced abuse as a young person then you will find this information to be a vital key in unlocking your recovery journey. The issue of
- [How to Beat Empty Nest Syndrome](https://therapevo.com/podcasts/beat-empty-nest-syndrome/) - At that moment the final child leaves the family home, you and your spouse go through a transition from parenting to empty nesters. For some, perhaps wives more than husbands, this is almost like postpartum depression as you are confronted with the grief that comes from a loss of a major stage in your life.
- [Long Distance Marriage - Do's and Do Not's](https://therapevo.com/podcasts/long-distance-marriage-dos-nots/) - Does your marriage involve one spouse working away from home? Or travelling a lot? Maybe you are a military family or you commute to another city for work or do camp work. Let’s talk about some of the challenges and also some ideas to make the most of this situation! It can be tough being
- [What To Do When Your Folks Do Not Like Your Spouse](https://therapevo.com/podcasts/when-your-folks-dont-like-your-spouse/) - What do you do when your family and/or friends do not approve of your spouse? As it turns out, there are a number of strategies to help with this, but the most important is just doing a good job of taking care of your marriage, regardless of what others think. It’s a tough situation to
- [Fighting For Your Military Marriage](https://therapevo.com/podcasts/fighting-for-your-military-marriage/) - A few days after this episode is released is Veteran’s Day or Memorial Day. We wanted to acknowledge our servicemen and women who serve our country and that of our neighbor, the USA, and to thank you for helping make it possible for us to live lives of freedom and meaning. If you’re not a
- [Do You Compete With Your Spouse?](https://therapevo.com/podcasts/do-you-compete-with-your-spouse/) - Competing with your spouse: is it good, is it bad? Or like us — if you’re playing mini-golf — it’s just plain ugly! At least, as ugly as Caleb’s putting skills… Oh…snap! For some couples, competitiveness is just a bit of fun: even though it may feel like life or death when you’re at the
- [So Your Spouse Has Mental Health Problems](https://therapevo.com/podcasts/spouse-mental-health-problems/) - I am excited about this episode today. We all dread mental health issues but today you’ll find out that there is a lot of hope for marriages where one spouse has significant mental health problems. Mental health is a huge problem that affects millions of people around the world. Disorders including depression, anxiety, bipolar and
- [Pornography and Sex Trafficking](https://therapevo.com/podcasts/pornography-sex-trafficking/) - Today is a difficult episode about the hardcore realities of the pornography industry. How is this marriage related? Well, pornography is a leading cause of divorce nowadays and one of the myths that we need to debunk as we fight this cancer is that viewing porn is a victimless activity. Around 1/2 of marriages have
- [Help! My Spouse is a Narcissist!](https://therapevo.com/podcasts/my-spouse-is-a-narcissist/) - We all carry at least a little narcissism in our hearts. We all show a few traits that belie underlying pride and entitlement. But what happens in marriages when narcissism is a defining feature? And how can spouses of narcissists learn best to cope with this issue? Ok let’s get into the topic of narcissism
- [How Marriage Counselling Works](https://therapevo.com/podcasts/marriage-counselling-works/) - Today we want to lift the hood on the world of marriage counseling and look at one particular approach and how it works. If you’ve ever been curious about what happens in the counseling room or are considering counseling there’s a lot more to it than you might think! The Mystery of Marriage Counseling The
- [Loving Your Spouse’s Kids](https://therapevo.com/podcasts/loving-your-spouses-kids/) - Families involving stepparents and step children are always tricky. And yet they’re a very common kind of family unit in today’s society. So how do the marriages look in these blended families? As we look into this we’ll see that a happy marriage and a happy blended family are very closely linked. How Common are
- [Is Your Career Ruining Your Marriage?](https://therapevo.com/podcasts/is-your-career-ruining-your-marriage/) - Balancing work and family can be a tricky task for any marriage. In fact, sometimes it can seem like it’s impossible to really satisfy either area: either work is going to be unhappy if you put too much emphasis on family, or family is going to be unhappy if there’s too much emphasis on work.
- [A Husband's Guide to Spiritual Leadership](https://therapevo.com/podcasts/husbands-guide-spiritual-leadership/) - One of the things I hear a lot of wives calling their husbands out on is spiritual leadership. Even in marriages that aren’t particularly distressed. This isn’t a subject we’ve tackled before so I thought it would be good to look at so that we can give husbands some help on how to move forward
- [How To Be A More Grateful Spouse](https://therapevo.com/podcasts/how-to-be-a-more-grateful-spouse/) - When you become aware and appreciative of that which is valuable and meaningful, that is called gratitude. Gratitude needs to be expressed, and what we notice in our marriage is that we tend to experience it more than we express it. So we thought we should think more about that. Gratitude is a powerful thing.
- [How Pornography Impacts Marriages](https://therapevo.com/podcasts/how-pornography-impacts-marriages/) - I’ve run across a number of couples lately — mainly younger couples — who are watching X-rated movies or pornography in order to “spice up their sex life”. It is not uncommon in our world to think that pornography has something to offer your marriage, but today, we’re going to take a look at what
- [Don't Let Resentment Sink Your Marriage](https://therapevo.com/podcasts/dont-let-resentment-sink-your-marriage/) - Resentment is what happens when you are treated unfairly and you begin to feel angry and bitter. Resentment can be directed at your spouse, at God, at your life: but if it begins to play a significant role in your marriage, that’s going to make home a pretty tough place to be. Proverbs 12:25 says
- [What Makes Christmas Merry for Marriages?](https://therapevo.com/podcasts/what-makes-christmas-merry-for-marriages/) - Merry Christmas!! Or, at least, that’s the way it is supposed to be. But does it always work out that way? Read on and we’ll tell you why it might — or it might not! Christmas is a time for coming together as a family and celebrating. Right? While lots of people probably have very
- [Defensiveness in Marriage](https://therapevo.com/podcasts/defensiveness-in-marriage/) - I do not think that there is a human being on the face of our planet right now who does not struggle at least a little bit with defensives. Some of us struggle a lot. And defensiveness in marriage is definitely going to make you unhappy and dissatisfied with your marriage. Turns out, it’s not
- [So Your Husband Ogles Other Women...](https://therapevo.com/podcasts/so-your-husband-ogles-other-women/) - Ogling or objectifying the bodies of others by staring with obvious sexual interest can be an easy habit to get into. Especially in a culture that objectifies women. It’s also something that recovering porn addicts have to work really hard at to break. But: there are plenty of non-addicts that deal with this too, so
- [How To Get Your Flirt (Back) On… When You Have 3 Kids, a Dog and a Mortgage](https://therapevo.com/podcasts/how-to-get-your-flirt-back-on-when-you-have-3-kids-a-dog-and-a-mortgage/) - Can you remember what it was like to flirt with your spouse before you were together? The fun and excitement of figuring out you were into each other… don’t you wish you could bring that spice into your relationship now that you’ve been together for years? Well, that’s exactly what we’re going to look at
- [Is Your Wife Nagging Too Much? It Could Be Your Fault!](https://therapevo.com/podcasts/the-low-down-on-nagging-without-any-shaming/) - Nagging is our subject for today. We’ve got some insights for you today! For example, did you know that there is a good reason why wives nag more than husbands? And that it is not actually because there’s something wrong with the wife? This is like mythbusters for marriage! Nobody likes being nagged by their
- [How To Get Your Abusive Husband Into Therapy…Safely](https://therapevo.com/podcasts/how-to-get-your-abusive-husband-into-therapy-safely/) - If your husband is abusive it can be really, really difficult to get him into therapy for help. And yet, this leaves the wife in a very difficult place — not only because of the abuse — but because usually the burden of mending the relationship and the problems are placed on her. That’s part
- [So Your Spouse Has ADHD](https://therapevo.com/podcasts/so-your-spouse-has-adhd/) - Here in North America we’ve become pretty conversant with ADHD as a culture. How it impacts kids at school, in the home, and so on. But it’s time to start the conversation around how ADHD impacts marriage. Did you know that your marriage can be a place that fosters a reduction in the problematic symptomatology
- [How Your Parent's Alcoholism Affects Your Marriage](https://therapevo.com/podcasts/how-your-parents-alcoholism-affects-your-marriage/) - Adult Children of Alcoholics — did you know that was a thing? ACOA’s are what we call them for short. If you’re an ACOA it means you had at least one parent with a history of alcoholism, or possibly even a grandparent. The issues you faced as a child can continue to affect the entire
- [How to Be Assertive With Your Spouse](https://therapevo.com/podcasts/how-to-be-assertive-with-your-spouse/) - Sometimes assertiveness gets a bad rap in our culture. As if it’s a domineering or bossy attitude. Not so: in reality, healthy assertiveness is a really helpful tool for marriage communication because it can reduce conflict and increase the quality of your marriage. What is Assertiveness? Assertiveness can often get confused with other, less positive
- [What is Love Addiction?](https://therapevo.com/podcasts/what-is-love-addiction/) - Today’s episode is going to be one that will be a complete light-bulb moment for some of our listeners... or else more of a fascinating-and-helpful but not especially relevant episode for many others. Love addiction is a real issue in some marriages, often with devastating consequences. What makes it particularly tricky to understand is that
- [The Art and Science of Hugging](https://therapevo.com/podcasts/the-art-and-science-of-hugging/) - What is a hug without the squeeze? In America, they’ll tell you that’s like apple pie without the cheese. We prefer ice cream with our pie but we definitely like our hugs with the right amount of squeeze. Turns out, however, that hugging has been studied fairly carefully in the research! Hugging is Old School
- [How to Increase the Love You Feel Towards Your Spouse](https://therapevo.com/podcasts/how-to-increase-the-love-you-feel-towards-your-spouse/) - Today’s topic is like a coin: one object with two sides. In this episode one side of the coin is increasing the love and the other side of the coin is increasing (or becoming more aware of) “the feel” of love. It’s not only deepening our love but become more aware of how and when
- [When Your Spouse Is a Chronic Liar](https://therapevo.com/podcasts/when-your-spouse-is-a-chronic-liar/) - We have a tough topic today — and unfortunately, it’s also one that is all too common. What do you do when your spouse is a chronic liar? Well, we are going to try to come to this topic with accountability and compassion because trust is so vital to creating a happy marriage. What is
- [What To Do When Your Spouse Has Been Sexually Abused](https://therapevo.com/podcasts/when-your-spouse-has-been-sexually-abused/) - There’s no doubt in 2018 that sexual abuse is a real issue and also one that is not uncommon. 16% of men and 25% of women have experienced some form of sexual abuse[i]. While a lot of the focus in recent months has been on bringing perpetrators to justice, what about the impact of sexual
- [How Much Joy Is in Your Marriage?](https://therapevo.com/podcasts/how-much-joy-is-in-your-marriage/) - It’s hard to kick this episode off without thinking of that old Sunday School song, “I’ve got the joy, joy, joy down in my heart. Where? Down in my heart!” Joy is that feeling of great pleasure and happiness that fills us in a more lasting way than a situational happiness. It’s something we believe
- [The Hidden Costs of Marriage Problems](https://therapevo.com/podcasts/the-hidden-costs-of-marriage-problems/) - Life gets really busy and difficult to manage sometimes, and as we encounter some challenges we can lose sight of the forest for the trees. Maybe we have some unexplained health problems or even problems at work and we wonder what is going on? Obviously, there are many potential reasons, but have you considered that
- [How To Handle Chronic Health Problems in Marriage](https://therapevo.com/podcasts/how-to-handle-chronic-health-problems-in-marriage/) - It seems like with chronic illness in marriage you either hear the extremes of horror stories or, on the other end of the spectrum, some very beautiful stories. I’ve heard of a wife getting a bad form of cancer, the husband deciding he just didn’t want to deal with that and bailing out on her.
- [How To Get Your Husband (or Wife) Into Marriage Counseling](https://therapevo.com/podcasts/how-to-get-your-husband-or-wife-into-marriage-counseling/) - This has to be one of the most common questions I get emailed about. Turns out, if you can take a little time to understand why men or women react differently to the idea of counseling, then you can dial in your approach to help you and your spouse get the help you need! Researchers
- [Figure Out What Your Spouse is Actually Upset About](https://therapevo.com/podcasts/figure-out-what-your-spouse-is-actually-upset-about/) - Ever get the feeling that your arguments as a couple are going nowhere? Or maybe you find yourself thinking, “There has to be a better way to solve conflict than this!” Well, there is: turns out there are some essential skills that work for both husbands and wives and can actually lead to deeper intimacy
- [Why a Child Centred Family is Bad for Everyone](https://therapevo.com/podcasts/why-a-child-centred-family-is-bad-for-everyone/) - Is it better to put more energy into your marriage, or should raising your kids properly be your first concern? If you think pouring your everything into your little munchkins is the best way to do things, then this episode may be a bit of an eye-opener for you. We’re going to unpack the relationship
- [How Working from Home Impacts Your Marriage](https://therapevo.com/podcasts/how-working-from-home-impacts-your-marriage/) - Are you working from home, or thinking about working from home? In today’s episode, we want to show you how working from home could be a real positive for your marriage — but there are a few potential downsides that you need to be aware of too. I’ve been working from home for a few
- [Infertility And Its Impact on Marriage](https://therapevo.com/podcasts/infertility-and-its-impact-on-marriage/) - Infertility is the inability to conceive a child after at least 1 year of trying. Turns out about 10% of US couples experience infertility, and of those, about half will eventually conceive while the other half remain permanently infertile[i]. That’s actually a pretty high number: 1 in 10 couples struggle with this issue, 1 in
- [I Am a Virgin and My Fiancee is Not](https://therapevo.com/podcasts/i-am-a-virgin-and-my-fiancee-is-not/) - One of the concerns that often comes up in premarital counselling is from a couple where there are different amounts of sexual experience. Even apart from the moral concerns this may prompt are the fears, uncertainties, and doubts of what sexual intimacy may look like when you get married. For those of you that are
- [About Showing Honor To Your Wife (1 Peter 3:7)](https://therapevo.com/podcasts/about-showing-honor-to-your-wife/) - There are a constellation of marriage-promoting behaviors packed into the Biblical instruction for husbands to honor their wives. Today, we’re launching from a simple phrase in the Bible that instructs husbands to show honor to their wives to demonstrate how a host of research-backed findings are encapsulated in this truth. Our podcasts are not sermons
- [How To Break Out of The Same Old Arguments](https://therapevo.com/podcasts/how-to-break-out-of-the-same-old-arguments/) - The same old arguments … the same old cycle. In the marriage counseling world, we call these negative interaction cycles. The topic or concern or issue may change but it’s usually the same pattern: one spouse is more demanding or trying to get a response and the other avoids or dismisses or withdraws. And then
- [The Top 10 Rules for Fair Fighting](https://therapevo.com/podcasts/the-top-10-rules-for-fair-fighting/) - Every marriage has conflict. As we often point out, it is not so much how often you fight, but rather what you do when you fight and afterward. Do you repair after conflict? Do you work together during conflict to get to the bottom of issues? Today we have 10 Rules to help you fight
- [Four Ways To Create More Intimacy In Your Marriage](https://therapevo.com/podcasts/four-ways-to-create-more-intimacy-in-your-marriage/) - Today we revisit the topic of creating more intimacy in your marriage. This is actually a replay of episode 108. We don’t normally do replays but Verlynda is in the hospital with pneumonia today. I am glad to say that she is recovering, but, boy does that pneumonia ever hit hard. So, please keep her
- [How Your Theology Impacts Your Sex Life](https://therapevo.com/podcasts/how-your-theology-impacts-your-sex-life/) - Today we’re exploring the intersection between theology and our sex lives as married couples. These may sound like very disparate topics, but in reality what you believe about God, and what you think the Bible says about sex, will have a big impact on how much - or how little - pleasure you get from
- [Betrayed by Your Husband? 5 Things You Need to Know](https://therapevo.com/podcasts/betrayed-by-your-husband-5-things-you-need-to-know/) - You have just discovered your husband's pornography addiction or the other woman. Your safe world or life as you know it has shattered/come crashing down. We want to provide you with some essential truths and tips/strategies for coping with this sudden devastation and also talk about what you can expect of yourself in the moments
- [Is Your Own Sexual History Dragging You Down?](https://therapevo.com/podcasts/is-your-own-sexual-history-dragging-you-down/) - Sometimes sexual guilt can be a real drag — acting like a wet blanket not only on your sex life with your spouse but also even dampening the joy you find in your marriage. And most Christian couples don’t feel like they can just throw off their moral boundaries in order to bypass the guilt.
- [Working Through Betrayal Trauma](https://therapevo.com/podcasts/working-through-betrayal-trauma/) - Discovering that your spouse has had an affair or has in some way been sexually unfaithful is often an extremely traumatic event. You’ll feel like the boundaries of your marriage have been violated, your trust in your spouse has been destroyed, and even your own identity has been shaken. Betrayal As Trauma The first thing
- [Couples Living With Extended Family](https://therapevo.com/podcasts/couples-living-with-extended-family/) - In the US, living with extended family is increasing. 31% of children in the US now live with at least one additional adult in the house, as well as their parents- normally a family member. 10% live with one or both grandparents in the house[i]. Let’s take a look at some of the benefits and
- [Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs) and the Impact on Marriage](https://therapevo.com/podcasts/adverse-childhood-experiences-aces-and-the-impact-on-marriage/) - The Adverse Childhood Experiences study was a huge research study conducted in the USA that has traced the impact of very difficult childhood experiences into adulthood. For those who have faced these challenges, we want to explore what the potential impacts are in marriage and how to best respond so that you can create or
- [Relational OCD](https://therapevo.com/podcasts/relational-ocd/) - Today we’re going to be looking at relational obsessive-compulsive disorder — a condition that I was only made aware of in the last year first through a friend. Relational Obsessive Compulsive Disorder is a sub-type of OCD in which a person experiences “obsessive preoccupation, doubt and compulsive behaviors focused on one’s romantic partner[i]”. People with
- [Coming to Terms With Your Unexpected Pregnancy](https://therapevo.com/podcasts/coming-to-terms-with-your-unexpected-pregnancy/) - Did you know that one-third of all childbirths in the USA are as a result of unexpected pregnancies[i]? Now: that is not necessarily unexpected with regards to married couples — that’s just unexpected across the entire population so that’s in any relational context. Still, it’s a huge percentage. Unexpected Pregnancy Woes and Blessings There is
- [When Your Spouse is in Victim Mode](https://therapevo.com/podcasts/when-your-spouse-is-in-victim-mode/) - In today’s show, we’ll dive into the nitty gritty of victim mode: what’s really happening and why people even go there. If your spouse or if you yourself ever fall into victim mode you’ll also learn how to deal with it so that you can find healthier ways of relating to one another and overcoming
- [When Others Don't See Your Spouse as Abusive](https://therapevo.com/podcasts/when-others-dont-see-your-spouse-as-abusive/) - When a spouse is being abused, one of the challenges they may have to face is that other people around them may not believe that they are being abused. When this happens, there are even fewer resources available to empower the person experiencing the abuse. Let’s look at how this happens and then what to
- [How Generosity Could Transform Your Marriage](https://therapevo.com/podcasts/how-generosity-could-transform-your-marriage/) - Who knew that something as generic as generosity could transform your marriage? It has the potential to increase marital quality, make conflict resolution easier, increase your own happiness, help you to see other people’s perspectives, decrease divorce risk... Basically, make everything better except for my poor finger... Today, we’re offering some variety! I (Caleb) injured
- [The Abusive Wife](https://therapevo.com/podcasts/the-abusive-wife/) - The classic domestic abuse scenario is a husband beating his wife. I think almost all of society gets that and understands it’s wrong. Then you have husbands that are emotionally and psychologically abusive: people are still struggling to accept this as a form of domestic violence, but more and more are understanding this is a
- [How Losing a Child Impacts Marriage](https://therapevo.com/podcasts/how-losing-a-child-impacts-marriage/) - Thankfully, losing a child is a relatively rare event. However, this tragedy still happens to some in our world. And one of the common concerns I hear expressed is concern for the marriage of those who have lost a child. There seems to be a real perception that couples who lose a child are more
- [How To Help Your Husband Through His Man Cold](https://therapevo.com/podcasts/how-to-help-your-husband-through-his-man-cold/) - Today’s episode is on the lighter side. But did you know that researchers have actually done studies on the phenomenon of the man cold or man flu? You may be wondering if it’s really worse for a man to have a cold than for a woman? Well: like we say every time, we have the
- [Here's The Best Thing You Can Do After a Fight With Your Spouse](https://therapevo.com/podcasts/heres-the-best-thing-you-can-do-after-a-fight-with-your-spouse/) - Having a fight with your spouse is a stressful, upsetting experience that can leave you bewildered, frustrated and feeling stuck. In this episode, we want to give you a straightforward strategy that you can use to help break yourselves out of a downward spiral of increasing conflict and unhappiness. The Issue: Rumination and Negative Cycles
- [How Shift Work Impacts Marriage And What To Do About It](https://therapevo.com/podcasts/how-shift-work-impacts-marriage-and-what-to-do-about-it/) - More than 1 in 6 people regularly work shifts outside of the normal Monday to Friday work week[i]. In today’s episode we want to look at some of the unique challenges that shiftwork can bring to marriage. And not only the challenges but how you can work together as a couple to make the most
- [When Your Spouse Doesn't Share Your Faith](https://therapevo.com/podcasts/when-your-spouse-doesnt-share-your-faith/) - Most times when Christian podcasters take up a topic like this we tend to get preachy about not entering into an unequal yoke, where you have a Christian marrying a non-Christian. While we fully agree with the truth of Scripture on that subject, in this episode we want to look at this issue more from
- [How To Make The Most of an Unhappy Marriage](https://therapevo.com/podcasts/how-to-make-the-most-of-an-unhappy-marriage/) - So what if you are in a marriage that you are totally committed to but really not enjoying or appreciating. You are unhappy but it is quite a stable situation. And you aren’t leaving. How can you make the most of this situation? We’ll look at how folks find themselves in a spot like this
- [Cognitive Biases in Marriage: Spotlight, Illusion of Transparency & Availability Heuristic](https://therapevo.com/podcasts/cognitive-biases-in-marriage-cognitive-spotlight-illusion-of-transparency-availability-heuristic/) - Cognitive biases are assumptions and judgments and error that our brains automatically make without us even knowing it’s happening. They are like automatic mental shortcuts. But the problem is: they could be messing with your marriage without either of you even realizing it! We have a brainy episode for you this week. We’re going to
- [Cognitive Biases in Marriage: Reactance, Mood and Confirmation](https://therapevo.com/podcasts/cognitive-biases-in-marriage-reactance-mood-and-confirmation/) - Cognitive biases are those sneaky little brain shortcuts that happen without us even realizing it. They make life more efficient and most of the time are helpful… but sometimes they can backfire too! Today we’ll look at three more of these biases so you know what they are, why they happen and how to stop
- [How Couples Can Grow Spiritually…Together](https://therapevo.com/podcasts/how-couples-can-grow-spirituallytogether/) - The Internet floods us with ideas, tips, and tricks for couples to grow in their relationship with God. Sifting through it all can get overwhelming. Which works and which doesn’t? Let’s separate the wheat from the chaff and look at the ideas that truly work. Be Doers, Not Just Hearers Couples who share religious faith
- [How Vulnerability Deepens Intimacy in Marriage](https://therapevo.com/podcasts/how-vulnerability-deepens-intimacy-in-marriage/) - Intimacy is something that everyone wants for their marriage. But achieving that requires risk. Because to deepen intimacy in your marriage, you will need to open up to your spouse, to be vulnerable. Building Intimacy with Vulnerability Intimacy is complex. It is not something that happens passively; you must work with your spouse to put
- [How Irreducibility Deepens Intimacy in Marriage](https://therapevo.com/podcasts/how-irreducibility-deepens-intimacy-in-marriage/) - How can your marriage work when the two of you are so wildly different? At the start of your marriage, it’s easy to overlook those differences. But the more you get to know your spouse, the more you realize that they are a totally distinct person from you. While that can be overwhelming or even
- [How Curiosity Deepens Intimacy](https://therapevo.com/podcasts/how-curiosity-deepens-intimacy/) - So there you are, carrying on with your day as usual when for some reason, your spouse does something completely unexpected. You have two options at this point. You could make an assumption based on previous experience, or you can choose to investigate further to find out something new. Making an assumption is generally more
- [How Empathy Deepens Intimacy](https://therapevo.com/podcasts/how-empathy-deepens-intimacy/) - There are few things more discouraging than coming to your spouse with something exciting to share and being met with a blank stare. Or saying what a disappointing day you’ve had and being told to be more positive. In relationships, you want to be understood. You want your spouse to feel what you feel, to
- [Why Your Husband Can’t Hear You During Conflict](https://therapevo.com/podcasts/why-your-husband-cant-hear-you-during-conflict/) - So you’re trying to have a serious conversation with your spouse, but it doesn’t seem to be working. They aren’t answering the questions you ask. Instead, they seem to be ignoring you or shutting you out. And that just gets you even more upset. Don’t they care? It’s easy to take these situations personally, to
- [Male Privilege in Marriage](https://therapevo.com/podcasts/male-privilege-in-marriage/) - These days, it’s difficult to have an open conversation about privilege because it has become such a hot button political issue. But if we can take a step back from political agendas, we can see that there is quite a lot of research that shows the reality of privilege and its impact on marriages. So
- [How To Work With Your Spouse’s Betrayal Trauma Part 2](https://therapevo.com/podcasts/how-to-work-with-your-spouses-betrayal-trauma-part-2/) - So you’ve taken the initial steps towards helping your spouse heal from your betrayal. You admitted your guilt. You demonstrated your remorse. You showed your willingness to make it right. And your spouse sees and understands this. But you still find yourselves caught in a cycle where you go back to the same thing over
- [Dealing with Your Shame and Guilt After Betrayal](https://therapevo.com/podcasts/dealing-with-your-shame-and-guilt-after-betrayal/) - It might seem strange to be focusing on the betraying spouse. After all, they weren’t the ones who were victimized. However, if the betraying spouse does not grow as a result of the wrong they did, that leaves their betrayed spouse vulnerable. So yes, it is vital for you, the betraying spouse, to help your
- [How To Keep The Romance Alive in Your Marriage](https://therapevo.com/podcasts/how-to-keep-the-romance-alive-in-marriage/) - Marriages can be strange. You slog through the daily grind, but at least you’ve got your partner. You think that everything’s fine, but then one day you wake up and realize that you don’t feel close to your spouse anymore. This is a common event in any marriage. Sometimes it’s because of normal life transitions.
- [Unpack the Four Horsemen](https://therapevo.com/podcasts/unpack-the-four-horsemen/) - In the Book of Revelation, the Bible talks about Four Horsemen that will herald the apocalypse. Symbolizing pestilence, war, famine, and death, these Horsemen are meant to be the signs that indicate that the end of the world is imminent. Borrowing from this Biblical illustration, Dr. John Gottman identified the four most critical indicators of
- [How to Set Boundaries in a Kind Way](https://therapevo.com/podcasts/how-to-set-boundaries-in-a-kind-way/) - Most people have heard of boundaries and understand that it’s good to have healthy boundaries in marriage. But as with any psychological concept that enters the public sphere, its application can be quite twisted from its intended form. Sometimes people will cut off members of their family, labeling that action as “setting a boundary”. Or
- [How Shame Perpetuates Porn Addiction](https://therapevo.com/podcasts/how-shame-perpetuates-porn-addiction/) - Shame is such a powerful emotion. The problem is, it can lead to seemingly contradictory behavior, particularly in the context of addiction. Shame’s close relationship with pornography consumption can cause porn addicts to fall into cycles of shame over their addiction, followed by giving into their addiction, followed by more shame. As with most addictions,
- [Why People Seek Marriage Counseling & What Approaches They Choose](https://therapevo.com/podcasts/why-people-seek-marriage-counseling-what-approaches-they-choose/) - Everyone knows the “fairy-tale ending.” The prince and the princess get married, and they live happily ever after. While you will be able to find happiness in marriage, it’s common to experience hardships that fairy tales never address. Sometimes, you will experience rocky times for a few days, months, or even years. The reality of
- [Is My Spouse a Sex Addict?](https://therapevo.com/podcasts/is-my-spouse-a-sex-addict/) - The road to discovering your spouse’s sexual addiction takes many forms. Sometimes, compulsive sexual behavior can be completely hidden for years before it is found out. It may happen as a single, devastating revelation or as a series of smaller discoveries. Perhaps you already knew about their sexual compulsivity but hoped that marriage would
- [How Prayer Impacts Marriage](https://therapevo.com/podcasts/how-prayer-impacts-marriage/) - Often, people see tension between spirituality and the field of psychology. Academics seem to look down on matters of belief as unintellectual, and the faithful sometimes think that scientists are secular opponents to all religion. However, research is continuing to indicate that expressions of faith have tangible, measurable benefits. This holds particularly true about prayer.
- [NEWS RELEASE: Life Update for Caleb & Verlynda, plus rebranding and new shows coming!](https://therapevo.com/podcasts/life-update-for-caleb-verlynda-plus-rebranding-and-new-shows-coming/) - Welcome Back: Where We've Been and What's Next for the Podcast In our 280th episode, we provide an update after a five-year hiatus! We discuss our personal experiences, including burnout, career changes, and coping with the pandemic. The episode covers the transition from our old OnlyYouForever brand to the new Therapevo Counselling brand, highlighting the
- [How Can I Help My Wife Be More Trusting?](https://therapevo.com/podcasts/help-my-wife-be-more-trusting/) - Joshua* writes: My wife and I started dating, got married the next year, had our first child a year later, and then our second child the following year. Around the same time as our second child was born, an ex-girlfriend texted me. Conversations started as just "Hey, how's life?" but quickly escalated to sexting as
- [My Wife Won't Stop the Affair. How Do I Save My Marriage?](https://therapevo.com/podcasts/wife-wont-stop-affair-save-marriage/) - Jason* wrote in to say: "First all, huge thanks for what you are doing. My marriage is still in trouble, and it's even getting worse and worse. But thanks to your podcasts, I'm more ready to forgive and to accept my wife after her infidelity disclosure. The question is as follows. How do I fight
- [My Husband’s Sexual History Is Affecting Our Intimacy](https://therapevo.com/podcasts/my-husbands-sexual-history-is-affecting-our-intimacy/) - Today we have a question from one of our audience members who is asking for help to overcome some significant mental barriers around her husband’s sexual history. Hi, I have a question. I got married just recently and much later in life...around 40 years old. I was a virgin when I got married. My husband
- [If My Husband is a Sex Addict, Should I Divorce Him?](https://therapevo.com/podcasts/husband-sex-addict-divorce/) - Peggy* wrote in to ask about sexual addiction and its effects on marriage. She writes, "Verlynda, First, I think your plans for traveling for a year sounds awesome! What an exciting adventure to undertake. Your family will be in my prayers that you will only experience slight bumps in the road and have a wonderful
- [After Infidelity, How Do I Trust My Husband Again?](https://therapevo.com/podcasts/infidelity-trust-husband/) - This week, Caleb answers a very touching question from Betty*, one of our email subscribers. She asked, "I responded a few months ago, rather aggressively, may I add, to your husband's question. And of course, he graciously responded with a question that pierced through my pain and frustration and found my heart. He asked," Do
- [Extreme Sex Drive and Infidelity From Testosterone Therapy?](https://therapevo.com/podcasts/extreme-sex-drive-infidelity-testosterone-therapy/) - This week, we have a question from one of our audience members who wanted clarity on her expectations around side effects of her husband's testosterone therapy. "What experience do you have with testosterone therapy for men? I believe part of the cause of my husband's infidelity is due to much testosterone pellets and an excessive
- [My Spouse is Flaunting Him/Herself on Social Media](https://therapevo.com/podcasts/spouse-flaunting-himherself-social-media/) - A listener wrote in with the question: "How do you set boundaries with social media? What's acceptable to keep the marriage from the pressures of the world. For example: One spouse doesn't like revealing pictures put out and the other is getting physically fit and feeling the need to parade?" Listen to the podcast for Caleb's
- [I Want To Fix Our Marriage and He Doesn’t. Now What?](https://therapevo.com/podcasts/want-fix-marriage-doesnt-now/) - Here's today's question: "Background: I grew up in an abusive home (my father is an addict and a bully, but my mother never reported his abuse to authorities or tried to explain that what he was doing was wrong- we just pretended that nothing had happened afterwards) and my husband grew up in a home
- [Secure Attachment in Marriage](https://therapevo.com/podcasts/secure-attachment-in-marriage/) - Secure attachment is foundational for strong marriages where both partners feel safe and secure. In the past three episodes, we’ve been looking at different styles of attachment that are born out of difficult childhood experiences. Today, we are considering the fourth style, secure attachment, which is really the goal that those of us with these
- [Why You Really Need to Consider Emotional Labour in Your Marriage](https://therapevo.com/podcasts/why-you-really-need-to-consider-emotional-labour-in-your-marriage/) - Emotional labour is a significant part of a couple’s relationship. Emotional labour was first coined by the sociologist Arlie Hochschild in her book, The Managed Heart (1983)[1]. She defined it as the work of managing your own emotions, but the term has been expanded to looking at the overall burden of managing or carrying emotions in a
- [How Retirement Affects Marriage](https://therapevo.com/podcasts/how-retirement-affects-marriage/) - Transitioning from full-time employment into retirement is naturally going to impact both your life and your marriage. Retirement comes with lots of changes, and there are ups and downs to the process. Whether you have parents going through this, you’re coming up to retirement, or you have recently retired, there’s lots to learn about how
- [Betrayed By Your Wife? 5 Things You Need to Do](https://therapevo.com/podcasts/betrayed-by-your-wife-5-things-you-need-to-do/) - Back in episode 209, we did a show on the five things you need to know if you’ve been betrayed by your husband. Today we want to look at the experience of a husband who has been betrayed. Men and women both experience betrayal, but have different ways of responding to it. Betrayal trauma is
- [Why You May Be Experiencing Pain During Sex (for Wives)](https://therapevo.com/podcasts/why-you-may-be-experiencing-pain-during-sex-for-wives/) - If you experience pain during sex, you are certainly not alone. Pain during sex is called dyspareunia, and research shows that about 7% of women experience pain it.[1] Of those 7%, about one-quarter of them reported that the pain had been occurring frequently or every time they had intercourse over at least 6 months. Today,
- [When Family Visits Are Traumatic](https://therapevo.com/podcasts/when-family-visits-are-traumatic/) - What do you do when you’re going to see family for the holidays or on a vacation and you know that not everybody is in that healthy place where they’re going to be able to show you, your spouse and kids respect and care? So many of our listeners — if they want to spend
- [Why You Might Be Experiencing Pain During Sex (for Husbands)](https://therapevo.com/podcasts/why-you-might-be-experiencing-pain-during-sex-for-husbands/) - Four episodes back we addressed the topic of pain during sex for women and that show received a lot of downloads. Today we return to the topic but this time for men. Sexual issues like this can be difficult to figure out and often people just don’t even know who to ask, so they struggle
- [When Your Spouse Is Too Friendly With the Opposite Sex](https://therapevo.com/podcasts/when-your-spouse-is-too-friendly-with-the-opposite-sex/) - We're here to talk If you are married, it’s more than likely that you’ve had a discussion with your spouse at some point about a friendship between one of you and someone outside your marriage. So, what about those opposite-sex friendships? Are they healthy or are they dangerous? Should we avoid them at all costs
- [Overwhelmed or Flooded? Here's How To Calm Down During Conflict](https://therapevo.com/podcasts/overwhelmed-or-flooded-heres-how-to-calm-down-during-conflict/) - If you ever find yourself feeling overwhelmed during conflict, then this article is for you. We describe the psychological experience of flooding: when you white out or shut down or get hijacked by your own emotions. Usually, this happens during a fight with your spouse and it never helps resolve the issue you’re facing. In
- [How Self-Compassion Can Help Your Marriage](https://therapevo.com/podcasts/how-self-compassion-can-help-your-marriage/) - Compassion is probably something that you find harder to provide for yourself than for others. However, did you know that self-compassion can help your marriage? Yes, we often talk about what you could and should give to your spouse in marriage, but today we want to talk about the need for self-compassion and how beneficial
- [Responding to The Rage of Your Betrayed Spouse](https://therapevo.com/podcasts/responding-to-the-rage-of-your-betrayed-spouse/) - If you have betrayed your spouse and disclosed that betrayal to them, one thing you will have become very aware of is the rage that betrayal can cause. In our experience in working with couples, many people who are working through their own infidelity and trying to recover their marriage find that they aren’t sure
- [6 Porn Groups To Help Your Recovery](https://therapevo.com/podcasts/6-porn-groups-to-help-your-recovery/) - If you are trying to break a pornography addiction, one of the best things you can do is to find a group that you can join in addition to doing individual counselling. Fortunately, there are a number of great options out there to choose from depending on what is available in your area or whether
- [Coronavirus and Your Marriage](https://therapevo.com/podcasts/coronavirus-and-your-marriage/) - Well, we live in unprecedented times as many of us are adjusting to a global crisis. We are recording this episode in the middle of the 2020 Coronavirus pandemic, with some of our listeners in cities in full lock-down and others nervously awaiting the community spread of this disease. Certainly, it has created considerable stress
- [How to Confront Your Husband About His Pornography Addiction](https://therapevo.com/podcasts/how-to-confront-your-husband-about-his-pornography-addiction/) - Reasonably often, we get inquiries from a wife whose husband is addicted to pornography and he won’t do anything about it. In this article we want to help you prepare for that first serious confrontation where you have a very deliberate conversation about this problem and how it is impacting you as his wife. Understanding
- [How To Balance Parenting and Marriage (Even During a Pandemic)](https://therapevo.com/podcasts/how-to-balance-parenting-and-marriage-even-during-a-pandemic/) - Did you know that the research shows that marriage takes a hit when you have kids? One author reported in 2005 that an analysis of 90 different research studies showed the drop in marital satisfaction is a shocking 42% larger among the current generation than their predecessors. A more recent study from 2016 showed that
- [How Do I Know When/If I Can Trust My Spouse After Betrayal?](https://therapevo.com/podcasts/how-do-i-know-when-i-can-trust-my-spouse-after-betrayal/) - How do I know if I can trust my spouse again? This question represents one of the most profound dilemmas a betrayed spouse will struggle with as they journey towards healing after a significant betrayal. How do I know I’m not going to get hurt again? How do I know I’m not just being a
- [Defining Emotionally Abusive Behavior](https://therapevo.com/podcasts/defining-emotionally-abusive-behavior/) - This is a subject we’ve wanted to address for some time. We see some irony in the work we do with couples or individuals when it comes to abuse. Often, though not always, people who are in a relationship with a truly abusive person do not realize it. On the other hand, couples who are
- [Why Is My Spouse So Controlling?](https://therapevo.com/podcasts/why-is-my-spouse-so-controlling/) - We're here to talk There’s a level of control that occurs in relatively few marriages that we would see as part of an abusive power and control dynamic. But then there’s a lower level of control that doesn’t come from an abusive spouse that can still be frustrating and lead to conflict in the marriage.
- [What Is a Trauma Bond? The Invisible Chains That Keep You Stuck](https://therapevo.com/podcasts/trauma-bond-understanding-the-invisible-chains-that-keep-you-stuck/) - A trauma bond is a powerful attachment formed through cycles of abuse and affection. Learn the 7 stages, signs, neuroscience, and how to break free safely.
- [Marriage Conflict: What Is Your Fighting Style?](https://therapevo.com/podcasts/marriage-conflict-what-is-your-fighting-style/) - “How couples argue and disagree about issues appears to be more consequential to the success of marriage than what they argue about or how often they experience conflicts.” To reword the above quote taken from an article by Hanzal and Segrin in the Journal of Family Communication, you could simply say “how we fight has far
- [Trauma Bonding in Betrayal Trauma: Why You Can’t Leave Despite the Pain](https://therapevo.com/podcasts/trauma-bonding-in-betrayal-trauma-why-you-cant-leave-despite-the-pain/) - Stuck in a betrayal bond? Learn why your nervous system stays attached after infidelity and what stabilization actually looks like. Find solid ground.
- [Betrayal Trauma and the Brain: Symptoms, Science, and Recovery](https://therapevo.com/podcasts/how-betrayal-trauma-impacts-the-brain-and-body-a-complete-guide-to-neurobiological-changes/) - Betrayal trauma changes your brain in measurable ways. Learn the neuroscience, recognize the symptoms, and find out what real recovery looks like.
- [Can Your Brain Recover from Porn Addiction? The Science of Relapse, Shame, and Healing](https://therapevo.com/podcasts/porn-addiction-brain-shame-relapse/) - Your brain can recover from porn addiction. A licensed clinician explains what porn does to the brain, why shame drives relapse, and what actually helps.
- [Rebuilding Intimacy After Porn Addiction: A Complete Guide for Married Couples](https://therapevo.com/podcasts/rebuilding-intimacy-after-porn-addiction-a-complete-guide-for-married-couples/) - Recover from betrayal and rebuild trust. Learn practical steps to restore physical intimacy and emotional safety in your marriage after porn addiction recovery.
- [Preparing a Formal Disclosure for Pornography Addiction](https://therapevo.com/podcasts/preparing-a-formal-disclosure-for-pornography-addiction/) - Stop trickle-truth and start healing. Learn how a structured formal disclosure for pornography addiction rebuilds trust and provides a foundation for recovery.
- [Forgiveness vs Healing Betrayal Trauma: Why You Can’t Just ‘Get Over It’](https://therapevo.com/podcasts/forgiveness-vs-healing-betrayal-trauma-why-you-cant-just-get-over-it/) - Stuck in triggers? Discover why your brain can't "just forgive" betrayal. Learn the neurobiology of healing and how to reclaim your peace at your own pace.
- [How Porn Addicts Compartmentalize: The Psychology Behind the Secret Life](https://therapevo.com/podcasts/how-porn-addicts-compartmentalize-the-psychology-behind-the-secret-life/) - How can they love you while living a secret life? Understand the psychology of mental "boxes" in porn addiction and discover the path to authentic recovery.
- [Is It High Sex Drive or Something Else? Understanding Porn Addiction as Affect Regulation](https://therapevo.com/podcasts/is-it-high-sex-drive-or-something-else-understanding-porn-addiction-as-affect-regulation/) - Stop trying to use willpower. Learn why porn addiction is often an emotional regulation tool and how addressing root causes leads to lasting recovery. Read more.
- [When the Past Shows Up: Navigating Betrayal Trauma Triggers in Relationships After Infidelity](https://therapevo.com/podcasts/when-the-past-shows-up-navigating-betrayal-trauma-triggers-in-relationships-after-infidelity/) - Stop the spiral of infidelity triggers. Learn why your brain reacts to betrayal trauma and get proven scripts to de-escalate conflict and rebuild trust.
- [Sobriety and White Knuckling vs Recovery in Porn Addiction: Why 'Counting Days' Isn't Enough](https://therapevo.com/podcasts/sobriety-and-white-knuckling-vs-recovery-in-porn-addiction-why-counting-days-isnt-enough/) - Stop white-knuckling your porn addiction recovery. Learn the difference between counting days and true healing to find lasting freedom and relationship trust.
- [How to Break a Trauma Bond: A Nervous System-Based Approach to Freedom](https://therapevo.com/podcasts/how-to-break-a-trauma-bond-a-nervous-system-based-approach-to-freedom/) - Stop fighting your willpower. Learn how to break a trauma bond by regulating your nervous system. Master grounding tools and start your healing journey today.
- [Understanding Trauma Bonding: Domestic Violence and Why Families Stay Trapped](https://therapevo.com/podcasts/understanding-trauma-bonding-domestic-violence-and-why-families-stay-trapped/) - Trauma bonding makes leaving feel impossible. Learn the neurobiology of why we stay, how it impacts children, and the first steps to break generational cycles.
- [12 Hidden Signs of Childhood Trauma ACEs in Adult Life](https://therapevo.com/podcasts/12-hidden-signs-of-childhood-trauma-aces-in-adult-life/) - Do you feel broken but don't know why? Discover the 12 subtle signs of childhood trauma in adults, from imposter syndrome to chronic emptiness. Healing starts here.
- [Understanding and Calming Hypervigilance: Grounding Techniques for Feeling Safe](https://therapevo.com/podcasts/understanding-and-calming-hypervigilance-grounding-techniques-for-feeling-safe/) - Constantly on edge? Discover expert-backed grounding techniques to calm hypervigilance, regulate your nervous system, and help you feel safe again.
- [How Do I Know When My Marriage Is Beyond Repair?](https://therapevo.com/podcasts/how-do-i-know-when-my-marriage-is-beyond-repair/) - Feeling hopeless about your marriage? Discover the signs it can be saved and get a therapist's roadmap to healing and reconnection. Find hope today.
- [When Your Spouse Constantly Criticizes: Holding Onto Self Worth](https://therapevo.com/podcasts/holding-onto-self-worth-when-your-spouse-is-overly-critical/) - Feeling worn down by constant criticism from your spouse? Learn how to protect your self-worth and build a more positive and supportive relationship.